If you could change one thing
by Ems4179
Summary: …what would it be? Most of us have at least one thing in our lives that we wish we could go back and change, unfortunately that’s not possible. What if though, just once, you were given that opportunity? Would you take it or let it escape you once more
1. Say what?

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Final Fantasy (any of them) or Squaresoft. The idea for this story, I came up with after reading a story by Albel Fittir (previously Matron Raenee) I expanded on her idea and made it my own. This was originally posted under Divine Killing Spree but I wasn't happy with the way I wrote it so I am reposting it with a few changes and a clearer idea of where I am going with this. My thanks as always to Albel Fittir for the original idea.

**---Squall's P.O.V.---**

I walked up to the mansion holding onto Rinoa's hand, stopping at the door to wait for the others to join us. Staring at the house, my conviction that this was the strangest mission that we had ever been on only intensified. Cid had been well paid in advance for our services - so well paid in fact, that Cid went against Garden protocol and allowed the mysterious Kyzel to avail of our services without knowing beforehand what the mission entailed. We didn't even know the basics such as whether it was surveillance or protection. I can only assume that it is something pretty big to require all of Balamb Garden's A Rank SeeDs to be here. I mean whatever Kyzel had in mind, he had specifically asked for Rinoa, Selphie, Quistis, Irvine, Zell, Seifer and I. Okay, Seifer might not be A Rank yet but he wasn't far behind – he was level twenty seven I think. That means that this must be a pretty important mission.

When Cid told us of the few details that he knew. Quistis was the first to suggest that it could be a trap. Surely it was at least a little suspicious that all of the "World's Heroes" were being brought into this mission? We don't exactly come cheap singularly - the cost for all of us plus Seifer is definitely way out of the price range of most normal peoples pockets! Yet apparently Kyzel had said that money was no object. Wasn't that suspicious in itself? Could we really afford to take such a risk? Maybe this wasn't a trap for us? Maybe it was against Balamb Garden? Attack while we were somewhere else?

Cid had only scoffed at her questions though, he apparently has complete confidence in Kyzel but went on to point out that while we might be the best in Garden, there were more than enough people here to make up for us not being there – also, if it WAS a trap, we were more than capable of looking after ourselves. After all, Seifer was the lowest grade there and he wasn't exactly at cadet level. So here we all where – standing in front of the mansion wondering just what exactly awaited us behind it's doors.

I took a quick look around everyone to ensure that they had their weapons to hand and noted that they were all watching me - my cue to step up and knock the door, I presume. I was as tense as a coiled spring - heck, even Selphie was quiet and Zell was just standing still looking like a cobra ready to strike. Maybe I should just turn around? Surely no money in the world is worth this? If I was the only one worried, it wouldn't have been so bad but it was all of us!

Just as I was about to tell them to forget it, the door opened…Somehow, as I looked at the man who held it open, I wasn't a bit surprised. I mean, what else would you expect in such an old looking house but a butler of about 200 years of age who was bent over double. He laughed when he seen us and then addressed me. "Relax Squall, you have no need for your weapon here!" That definitely freaked me out until I remembered that there are probably very few people in the world who don't know who we are. I gave myself a shake and forced myself to relax. It wasn't easy, like everyone else, I could sense something was off - not a threat really. The best way to explain it was a sense that SOMETHING was going to happen. Was that a good enough reason to leave though? I couldn't stall outside forever though and as I didn't sense any immediate threat, I entered the building with my friends close behind.

Once inside, the strange man closed the door then turned to us and told us that we were free to leave whenever we wanted. Really? How about right now? Does right now work for everyone else I wonder? I sigh and follow the butler as he shows us to our rooms. I can't help but stare at him as he leads us up the stairs. There's something not quite right about him. He just seems…off somehow.

As soon as the door was closed behind, us I turn to Rinoa to ask her and she agrees with me that something is not quite right but she doesn't seem overly bothered. For some reason, she doesn't think it's a bad thing. Before I can question her attitude to the unusual man, someone knocks the door. I open it to find Irvine standing there. Apparently, we all have to meet downstairs in the hall. Well, that can't be a bad thing. The sooner this is over, the better. I take Rinoa's hand in mine and together we walk down to meet the others and find out exactly why we are here.

Except, when we get down and everyone has joined us, we are told – this time by an elderly lady with greying hair pulled up in a bun (again, somehow it seems fitting) that Kyzel will not be joining us until tomorrow because someone else is joining us but unfortunately, he can not make it until tomorrow. What in Hyne's name is going on? The woman told us that dinner was prepared for us and that we were to go to the dining room. She also reminded us that we were free to leave if we so chose…I turn to my friends gauging their reaction, noting they are as baffled by this approach as I am. Do they WANT us to go or something? Why on earth are we here if they don't want us around?

We followed her into the room and took our places. The meal itself was uneventful other than the fact that it was some of the best food that I had ever tasted. Truly it was out of this world but apart from that, nothing happened. We talked among ourselves as the only person we saw was the housekeeper as she brought in the food. It was nice though. I felt so relaxed and looking round, I realised I wasn't the only one feeling that way. Strange I suppose – especially considering everyone's reactions earlier. I shrugged it off though and decided to just go with the flow for now. There would be time for worrying in the morning…Now, I just wanted to relax. We continued to talk idly until it was time to go to bed…

**---The next morning - Irvine's P.O.V.---**

As usual in the morning, I was woken up by an exuberant Selphie, who was practically trailing me out of the bed in her haste to start a new day. After all our time together, I am STILL not used to her energy levels. Most people I know aren't great in the morning but make up for it later in the day or they are full of beans in the morning but are lethargic later in the evening. I fall into the first category. I cannot function in the morning until I have had at least two cups of coffee. I love Selphie to pieces, I do. I just don't understand how she can ALWAYS have so much energy. The only time that I ever saw her quiet was during the Sorceress War with the whole missile threats – oh, and when we were standing outside this house yesterday.

I shake my head and allow her to drag me out of bed and from there to the shower. I think it amuses her greatly to do this to me in the mornings. I smile slightly at the thought. I don't know what I did to deserve her but I thank Hyne on a regular basis that she said "yes" when I asked her out. She really is the most amazing woman that I have ever known.

After we are showered and dressed, we head downstairs where we stumble across Zell who looks exactly how I feel before I get my coffee in the morning. Zell surprised me on that front I guess. On so many levels, he seemed to be just like Selphie with his boundless energy but it turns out that he also is not a morning person. In fact, he is so grumpy that it's wise to steer clear of him until he is at least halfway through his third cup of coffee.

I risk it and say hello – as expected, he just grunts a greeting then walks on. We follow him into the Dining Room to find that we are the first people to get downstairs. We spot the coffee, tea etc sitting in the middle of the table and help ourselves then sit down and wait for everyone else to arrive.

My thoughts return to Zell once more out of boredom and also, if I look busy enough, no one will talk to me – it's too much like hard work to make conversation this early in the morning.

I just can't feeling that Zell needs a girlfriend - someone like Selphie to get him motivated in the morning. For a while, Selphie and I thought that he and Cleona – the girl from the Library - would get together but, despite our best efforts at matchmaking, they remain nothing more than friends. Shame really, Zell's a nice guy. He doesn't deserve to be alone.

Ten minutes later, Squall and Rinoa walk into the room holding hands and laughing about something or other. Those two are so incredibly close, I think I would be jealous but for the fact that I have Selphie who is of course all I could ever want.

It's a further ten minutes before Seifer and Quistis show up – they walk in together but something tells me that it is merely a coincidence. Although they are always civil to each other, they don't really seek out each other's company much. When they do talk for any length of time, they'll usually end up sniping at each other. That's another pair that Selphie and I assumed would eventually end up together but, neither really shows any inclination to the thought. After we were proved wrong about that, we decided to just leave others relationships alone. They'll all find love when the time is right for them I guess. I hope they do soon though. Life is short as it is, for us, doing what we do, it could end tomorrow. I don't like the thought that my friends could die alone, without love in their lives. It saddens me.

They both sit down at the table and Quistis takes a black coffee although I am sure that she is disappointed that there isn't the usual grapefruit that she has for breakfast – there is no way that anyone in this world can enjoy the foods that she eats. She's just so obsessive about what she puts into her body – whether in an attempt to keep her weight stable or just out of some idea that she must keep her body in perfect working order I am not sure but I suspect that it is the perfection angle that does it for her.

I smile amusedly at Selphie who has just finished the biggest pile-up of greasy food on a plate that even Zell couldn't have hoped to rival and I know that I prefer her approach because she looks like she enjoys every bite whereas Quistis looks like she couldn't care less and then there's Rinoa - I guess she is the middle road between Selphie and Quistis. She has a couple of pieces of toast with marmalade and milky coffee. Zell is eating something similar to Selphie's feast, Squall is drinking coffee while watching Rinoa through half-closed eyes with a little smile playing at the corner of his mouth and then there's Seifer who looks like he is planning something - if I am right, that means that he will probably be picking a fight in about two minutes with Quistis or Zell, just for something to do.

Right on cue, Seifer started heckling Quistis about the fact that she wasn't eating. It was obviously concern. Not that he would admit that to her – naturally he turned it into something that suggested that Quistis was way too prissy to enjoy herself by doing anything as frivolous as actually eating something that she might enjoy. Fortunately, before she could reply, the housekeeper entered the room and told us that the person who Kyzel was waiting on had finally arrived.

Of course, she ushered in the very last person we would have expected – Laguna! Laguna of course apologising profusely for his delay in getting here and keeping everyone waiting. He stopped grovelling (strange to use that for a man of his age – and especially considering that he was the ruler of Esthar but, there really is no other word for it) mid-speech and just looked at Squall. I turned to Squall to see how he was reacting to this development –he was definitely not amused - before he had looked so relaxed and even, dare I say it, content but now he was all tense again and looking VERY angry. I could almost hear his thoughts at that minute - Did Laguna set this up? Are we here because of him?

The housekeeper left the room and still no one spoke. I have to admit that Laguna looked as confused as we did at our presence but Squall didn't appear to notice that because he just glared at his Dad then turned around in his chair so that he was facing away from him. Poor Rinoa looked distressed at Squall's behaviour but she knew that there was nothing she could do. Squall didn't seem to be able to get past what happened years ago and couldn't forgive Laguna. There just seemed to be so many problems with my friends. It saddened me sometimes to think of the many things that were just slipping from their grasps every day. Laguna continued to stand there looking awkward until Quistis told him to sit down and offered him some food - that in turn seemed to vex Seifer because it meant that he was being ignored and so he started annoying Zell instead – winding him up by calling him Chicken Wuss which of course had the desired effect as Zell threatened to beat him to a bloody pulp. I sighed deeply then decided to just let them get on with it, I leaned over to my girlfriend and stroked her cheek, I never could resist the urge to just reach out and touch her for very long. She smiles up at me and immediately my worries fade away.

**-----------Seifer's P.O.V.----------**

I sat and watched Quistis flirt with Laguna (and really there is no other word for it). She should just do herself (and him) a favour and tell him that she likes him – though to be honest, I don't think she realises it herself. Maybe some day I'll do her a favour and point it out to her – after all, she did her best to help me out when we came back to Garden. Really, she was the best instructor for the job this time when I was finally willing to be taught.

Returning to Garden wasn't easy for me. Even though I was cleared of all charges as it was accepted that I was not in control during my time with Ultimecia, I still felt guilty about what I had done. A large part of me was tempted not to return but I want to make amends for my behaviour regardless of whether I was in control or not. That alone seems to have ensured that people leave me alone at the very least and let me get on with it.

There are still moments when I take delight in driving her crazy – old habits die hard sometimes. She in turn does this to me. Isn't that what brothers and sisters are for after all. These people around me are really the only people who can get under my skin. (Well, obviously Fujin and Raijin too but, I don't really see so much of them since they moved to Fisherman's Horizon). Of them, the ones who can drive me most crazy are Quistis and of course Zell, but that's for a different matter entirely. I turn my attention to the blonde in question and smirk at him when I notice him looking my way. He scowls at me for a moment then turns his attention back to his food. I think I drive him crazy. The thought alone makes me grin.

I notice Squall turning his back on Laguna and I have to admit that I sympathise with him. It really can't be easy can it? Of the time he spent with us in the orphanage, he spent most of it pining for Ellone – the only family he'd ever known. To learn that not only did you have a sister but a father who was too busy running a Country to bother with him had to be a killer. It probably wouldn't have been so bad if he'd even visited once in a while but he hadn't. Of course, Laguna must have had his reasons for not doing so but if I find them difficult to fathom then it could only have been harder for Squall. Poor guy!

**----------Zell's P.O.V.----------**

Oh great! Whatever the hell is going on, it's shaping up to be a really crappy mission. It's bad enough that Seifer is here which of course means that I have a whole world of fun ahead of me but now add to the mix the fact that Laguna is here. How long can it be before all hell breaks loose? (These sausages are really yummy - if only there were some bread rolls about I could make some hotdogs!)

Contrary to popular belief, I don't hate Seifer, are arguing and sniping is something that we have been doing so long that we really don't know how to communicate with each other in any other manner. That's what I think anyway. Truth is, if he asked me for help, I'd give it to him in a heartbeat.

As for Laguna, I wonder why he's here at all. It's strange. Maybe it IS a trap. We have just been brought here to be killed or something. I really wish that Cleona were here. She's a great girl. Despite the quiet exterior, she's got a killer sense of humour and could definitely alleviate some of the tension in this room. She really is a great girl. I smile as I remember Irvine "subtly" pointing out that Cleona and I would make a nice couple. Yeah right! She's not really my type – nor am I hers but, she's a damn good friend.

**----------Quistis's P.O.V.----------**

One minute, I am sitting answering some question of Seifer's, the next Laguna walks in. Apparently, Laguna is whom the elusive Kyzel was waiting for last night. This is definitely a trap. The question is, exactly what are we up against? Could we possibly be strong enough to defeat whatever this new threat is? I will have to hope that we are. No. We're going to be fine. We have to be, after all, the weakest people in our Ranks are Laguna and Seifer. I look at them momentarily, first at Seifer - who is in the process of smirking arrogantly at Zell. I know for a fact that Seifer will be fine. He's more than capable of looking after himself – then I turn my gaze to Laguna, my eyes travelling over his body idly, noting that he obviously still does some sort of training still. He's definitely capable of defending himself also if the need arises. No weapon though. That could be problematic.

Just as I am considering this, the housekeeper comes into the room. Apparently Kyzel has requested our presence in the Drawing Room. We finish our food and drink and follow the housekeeper into the aforementioned room and sit down around the table. I guess we're about to find out what exactly what we are up against. Ready or not…here it comes! I smile slightly at that thought as I am reminded of simpler times in the orphanage – times when we put our differences behind us and just enjoyed each other's company. I sit down at the only spare seat – which means I am sitting directly opposite Seifer. A sigh escapes me then. Hopefully, he will resist the urge to irritate me if he gets bored.

A young man of about our age walks in. He has blonde hair and looks quite attractive. He is wearing a pair of jeans and a T-shirt and looks like he was born for it. I realise I am staring and turn away quickly only to discover that Rinoa and Selphie also seem rather captivated by him and I smile. Surely this can't be Kyzel though? He's so young looking - he can't be more than twenty five! The next thing I know, he has jumped up onto the top of the table and sits facing us with his legs crossed, he looks totally at ease like this is a perfectly normal way to conduct a meeting. What exactly was wrong with sitting in a chair like a normal person? I shake my head to dislodge the thought and try to concentrate on what he is saying.

"Greetings to you all. I hope that you are all okay. Sorry there was no grapefruit for you Quistis. I'll get some for you for tomorrow morning, I promise." I blink and stare as he says that. I look round and see that the only person who has registered what he says is Seifer who glares at me. He must think that I know him. I just return his glare with a perplexed look. I have never seen him before in my life. I'm sure of that. Oh Hyne! I hope he's not a Trepie! They are insane – all of them. If he's one of them, I think I will be entitled to kill him simply on those grounds! I smile slightly at that thought but stop once I realise that Seifer is still glaring at me. I sigh instead.

"No doubt you are all wondering why you are here. Let me put your minds at ease. This is not a trap. I am not trying to kill you or this is not some intricate plan to sabotage Garden and I am NOT a Trepie – no offence Quistis. You're perfectly nice and everything but…you're just a woman – an exceptionally bright young woman but a woman none the less." Kyzel says this with innocence and I notice that Seifer quirks an eyebrow at that one but remains silent. I meanwhile am becoming more wary by the second.

Kyzel speaks again "now that I have your attention, let me introduce myself. I'm Kyzel and I'm an Angel sent by Hyne to help you all sort out a few of your problems" I blink and then stare at him for a moment before I realise what's going on - he's crazy! I continue to stare at him – no doubt exactly what everyone else is doing because he sighs "Why does no one ever believe me when tell them that I am an Angel?"

It is Seifer who breaks the silence "probably because you're insane!" I don't say anything because, for the first time in what feels like years, I am in total agreement with him - Kyzel is obviously not playing with the full deck. The question is how in Hyne's name do we get out of this situation we find ourselves in? Is he likely to get violent if we all just get up and leave? If there is only him here, we should be fine but…

Kyzel sighs and this time when he speaks, there is just a hint of impatience in his voice "Okay children, listen to me. I have been sent by Hyne to help you. If you refuse to believe me, that is your loss. It's a shame though. He had such high hopes for you all!" It is Selphie who pipes up this time. "Um, you really need to get some help Mister. If you come back to Garden with us, I'm sure we can get someone to help you." I watch as Kyzel sighs yet again and shakes his head. Right before my eyes, he sprouts a huge pair of wings…I blink to clear my vision. Must be something wrong with my eyes…nope. Still there! He looks around and smiles, noting that everyone is watching him. "Now that I have your attention….As I was saying, I am angel sent by Hyne himself to help you all! Any questions?" Irvine raised his hand and Kyzel looks to him "yes?" Irvine coughs and then asks, "did that hurt?" Kyzel looks at him and sighs, "Yes it did. Now, if you don't mind, can I get on with telling you all why you are here?" He looks around and when no one objects, he starts to talk again – the irritation in his voice from earlier seems to have completely left him again.

"I am an Angel, sent by Hyne himself. My job here is to try and ease some of your concerns. The reason he is doing this for you is that you have all helped to save the World that He created and He is grateful. He could not bring himself to harm Ultimecia, as she was His Descendant. He is grateful to you for doing what He could not." It was Seifer and Laguna who looked troubled this time but Kyzel beat them to it before they could speak. "Laguna, you were instrumental in stopping Adel, you also played a part in stopping Ultimecia, Seifer, you are too deeply weighed down in guilt and it is something that rankles Him greatly!" He looks around to see if we are following what he has said so far. I realise that there is something that I want to ask, "so how exactly can you help us?"

Kyzel smiles at my question. "My, you are all so impatient aren't you? I was just getting to that: My purpose here is to release you from some of your worries. Hyne has been watching over you all for some time now. It has come to His attention that you all seem to be spending a great deal of your time mulling over 'what ifs'. The plan therefore is to let you all see what would have happened if you had chosen the alternative that bothers you so much." We all just stared at him and each other in confusion then. Zell spoke up. "How exactly do you plan to do that?" Kyzel smiled again. "A good question Zell!" He pointed to a projector and screen "I'm going to play your choices on that – it'll be like watching a film."

Rinoa this time – "But what happens if the other way is better? It could hurt too much! How is that meant to make us feel better?" Kyzel smiled at Rinoa as though she had just made some major point. "Then you choose the other life Rinoa!" For a minute there was stunned silence then everyone spoke at once. "What?" – That was Zell, Seifer, Selphie and I. "Holy Shit." That was from Irvine. Kyzel laughed delightedly. "I'm going to leave you together here for half an hour. I'll get Mrs. Junan to bring you in tea and coffee and you can think over what I have said. I'll remind you that you don't have to do this. You are all free to leave whenever you choose. I hope you don't though, please bear in mind that this is meant to help you." With that he left. Wow - that was certainly an unexpected turn of events!

**----------Laguna's P.O.V.----------**

So basically Kyzel has told us that our one big regret could be taken away just like THAT! I thought about that for a second. Wasn't really difficult for me to decide what I wanted to know – of course I needed to know what would have happened had I been with Raine when Squall was born. Could she have been saved? What difference would it have made if Squall had been with me? I sigh deeply at the thought. I have so many questions and regrets from the past but every single one comes back to the fact that I wasn't there when Raine died. Maybe I couldn't have saved her but at least Squall and I would have known each other. Now, he might know of my existence but he cannot get over the past and hates me so much and it just breaks my heart. There's no doubt in my mind. If Kyzel is genuine, and we're doing this then that's what I'm going to ask. What if I'd come back earlier to Raine?

**----------Selphie's P.O.V.----------**

Oh My God! This is so BIG! I was expecting this to be a standard mission or even a trap but this…this is immense. I have the chance to change my one big regret in my life – that's not exactly hard is it? The fact that the missiles hit Trabia Garden because we were unable to stop them has been weighing me down. I'm finally going to be able to fix it! This is wonderful. This is turning out to be one of the best days of my life. I bounce around excitedly at the thought.

**----------Squall's P.O.V.----------**

I wonder what everyone else is thinking? Are we going to go through with this? Could this be some kind of trap? No! Not possible. Kyzel has wings. Normal people don't have wings…well Rinoa….she's a Sorceress though – a descendant of Hyne so….

**----------Seifer's P.O.V.----------**

Just one? Where would I start? One regret….I have so many how can I possibly choose just one. I look at Quistis and I realise that she looks like she's about to be sick or something. Squall of course is lost in thought as usual. The only one who doesn't look totally freaked out is Rinoa who looks totally calm. In fact she looks so relaxed, I am beginning to wonder if she has fallen asleep with her eyes closed.

**----------Rinoa's P.O.V.----------**

I can't help but smile as I think of the gift that Hyne has offered us. It's so wonderful. To think that we are being given something as wonderful! I hope that it can be done. I look around me. Everyone here is deeply weighed down by mistakes that they have made – not that I am an exception - but it's a wonderful opportunity. If it could have been better then we can take the changed life but if it isn't, at least we will know. How does that affect the whole war with Ultimecia though? I must check that with Kyzel before we tell him of our decision.

**----------Irvine's P.O.V.----------**

What's there to regret? Life is all about making choices isn't it? There are always going to be consequences to every choice we make. Even if we don't make a choice, there are still consequences. Still, it might be worth a look anyway. What harm can it do? I look round the room at everyone while they are all lost in thought. The housekeeper (Mrs. Junan) enters with tea and coffee and sets it down. When she leaves, everyone starts discussing the implications. Ten minutes later, it has been decided that we will go through with it. At the very least, we should see what could have been. No sooner have we decided on a course of action than Kyzel comes back. Was he standing at the door or something?

He sits on top of the desk again and when everyone is looking at him, he speaks, "to answer your question Irvine, no, I was not listening at the door. I didn't need to. I'm an Angel remember?" I smile slightly at that. "You have made your decision!" It is a statement. Of course he knows but I sense that he needs us to tell him as much so I speak up, "Yes, we wish to go through with this." He smiles widely then and claps his hands together. "Excellent, in that case, I want you to take the rest of the day and think about what you each want. You are free to do as you wish until then. Dinner will be served later but don't worry - Mrs. Junan will call you when it is ready." With that, we all departed to our rooms to think. I grabbed Selphie's hand. Although we were mostly lost in our own thoughts, I still derived an immense amount of comfort from her.

As we entered our room and sat on the bed I couldn't help but think that we were about to embark on something very interesting and I was looking forward to it and I could tell that Selphie was too. Roll on tomorrow then!

**-----------------------------------------------------------------**


	2. Laguna's 'What if'

**Disclaimer:** I really wish that I did own Final Fantasy and Squaresoft. If I did, somebody would have already been paid a lot of money to create Final Fantasy VIII-2 - preferably focusing more on Seifer, Fujin and Raijin - that was Raven's idea. I just happen to think that it's a damn good one.

**----------Laguna's P.O.V.----------**

I cannot believe that this is happening! I was fully expecting to wake up in my own home in Esthar – more than likely by Ward or Kiros who would be rolling their eyes because I was late (yet again) for some meeting or other, but no. That was not the case. I am still in the mansion. It is also six o'clock in the morning! I don't think that I have been up this early since I was Squall's age! I shower and dress quickly and head downstairs to get some breakfast. I am really eager to see how this will all play out! Imagine the possibilities…maybe, just maybe, I'll get the chance to put right my biggest mistake and Squall won't hate me. I really hope it will be possible. Maybe I can even save Raine?

As I walk into the Dining Room, I realise that I am the last person up although they couldn't have been here for very long because Selphie and Zell are just sitting down at their seats, with their plates piled high with various fried foods, I can only assume that is more or less their usual breakfast as no one seems surprised by the amount of food they are eating. Hyne help their arteries! Apart from Quistis who was eating grapefruit, the rest are eating some concoction of a breakfast cereal, which I really don't care to examine too closely. I choose some toast and black coffee and sit down in the closest vacant seat.

No one speaks to me. Squall doesn't even spare me the usual glare that he always reserves for me. I guess they are all trying to decide exactly what they want to see. I forget that just because the decision is easy for me doesn't mean that everyone else will find it so simple.

We sit like that for about half an hour until Mrs. Junan came in to tell us that Kyzel has requested our presence and that we were to come when had prepared ourselves suitably. Everyone looked around and as one we stand up, leave our plates on the trolley and then head out of the room to see what awaits us.

When we are settled into our seats, Kyzel takes the opportunity to ensure that we are all happy, "Okay, I see that you are all still here. I'm very glad as I sure that He will also be pleased. Now, I want you to bear in mind that if you don't wish to see anything at all, it's fine. If at any time you want the movie to stop, just speak up. I cannot tell you what will happen. I don't know. What you choose may be better - but it could also be worse so I want you to prepare yourselves for that possibility also. Does anyone have any questions?" It was Rinoa who piped up then, "Will we remember our old lives if we choose another path?" That's actually a good question! I look to Kyzel to hear what he has to say, "For a short time, yes. However, it will seem like a dream - the reason for this is that Hyne wants to ensure that if you DO choose another path, you will remember the old life just enough to know that the life you have is better and therefore you will not think 'what if?'" He looked around at them all and smiled sweetly. "It'd kind of defeat the purpose wouldn't it if you started thinking THAT?" He grinned widely for a moment then became serious once more. "Any other questions?" When no one else spoke, he nodded. "We can start then. Who wants to go first?"

I look around the room and realise that everyone seems hesitant so seeing as I already know what I want, I tell Kyzel that I would like to – assuming that no one has any objections. I see Squall staring curiously at me out of the corner of my eye but he doesn't utter a word and neither does anyone else. Kyzel nods his head then sighs, "I forgot to mention the fact that you will not see this life in minute detail. You will see the highlights – however, if you choose the new life, you will have all the memories as though you have lived that life. That's why you will not remember this life for long. There would simply be too much conflict in your brains." He looked at me again when he was sure that everyone was still content to continue with this and asked me what I wanted to see. "That's the easiest question. I have regrets in my life but there is only one that really matters…I want to know what would have happened if I had somehow come back in time to save Raine…if I'd known of Squall's existence." Kyzel nodded then and he dimmed the lights and the show started:

I watch in awe for a while as events unfold in front of us. How strange it is to see Kiros, Ward and myself when we were the same age as my Son and his friends! I smile as I watch us get lost on some mission or other. I can't remember which one exactly. I can't help but laugh. After all, I pretty much got lost on every single mission we had ever been on. It was nice to see these things again though. It was nice to be able to revisit times long gone. I take the chance to look at things that I didn't take in the first time. Our surroundings, the people around us, I only start paying attention when I realise that we are watching a mission that I remember. This was one in which I was wounded so we had been staying at a hotel. I was finally well enough to be moving on again so we were preparing to leave. What made it interesting to me though was the fact that I know now that Raine was carrying Squall at the time. I sat up and started paying closer attention because I knew something was going to happen soon.

Everything was happening just as I remember – I even see Kiros leave the same silly message that he left last time – right until the moment we get to our car. Instead of driving off, we discover that it has a puncture. Surely this can't be the thing that would change everything? I watch as the wheel is changed but just as we are about to drive off, the hotel owner calls me back. A letter has arrived for me.

I can't breathe - I just can't. I stare at the screen, totally absorbed in the events around me. I watch as, on the screen, I look at the letter and note that it has been following us around for quite some time. It's from Raine – it's a letter telling me that she's pregnant.

I stare at the screen totally transfixed for a moment then I look to Kyzel and suddenly the film stops, "The letter does actually exist in this time Laguna. However it's sitting in a sorting office in a remote village. It followed you round the world for about two years. Somebody somewhere eventually decided it was not going to make it to you and stopped forwarding it." I took a moment to process that then nodded and with that the film started again.

I watched then, as instead of going back to complete our mission, we went to Raine. I stared at the screen unaware that tears poured down my face at the sight of the woman who has held my heart for so long. Time passes by as scenes from a life I could know flit past. I see myself being totally enthralled by the new life that Raine and I have created and suddenly she is going into labour. I insist on taking her to a hospital, which turns out to be something that saves her life. I watch as Raine and I bring Squall home but soon I am leaving to once again to find Ellone. The mission plays out fine though and I bring her home to meet her 'baby brother'.

This time of course, when I am offered the post in Esthar, I take it when Raine agrees that it would be the best thing for our family. Things carry on more or less as I would expect and soon enough, Squall is attending Balamb Garden. I watch as he mixes easily with the students around him. He is not quite as happy as Selphie but he is definitely different from the Squall sitting in this room with me. The Squall on the screen just seems so carefree. How surprising to realise that one letter could change all our lives so much… Why would I NOT choose this life? I can't resist the urge to continue watching though so I say nothing.

It is when I hear Seifer let out a snort that I realise that thing's are REALLY different. I watch as onscreen, Seifer and his best friends Quistis and Zell befriend Squall. I hear Quistis let out an amused snort and it can only be Zell I hear who seems to choke on thin air. I don't think they saw that one coming. I look at everyone and they all seem transfixed by the fact that everyone is friends. Seifer is completely different. How can it possibly be that Squall not being in the Orphanage has changed Seifer? It dawns on me eventually though that without Squall there, Seifer probably got more attention from everyone without having to act the way he does now to get it. He let everyone else see the real him most likely. Yet one more reason to choose this other reality.

More time flits past before our eyes and I watch the screen as Squall leaves on his SeeD exam and is teamed up with Zell and Selphie. I know that that is different because I was told that here Seifer was in the place that Selphie's had onscreen and was also the team leader. From what I can tell though, he is a SeeD already. I watch the SeeD ball as a cheerful Squall dances with Rinoa and then with Quistis then Selphie….then someone else…then someone else….then Selphie….then someone else…..Wow! That really is some transformation. This other Squall is obviously taken with Selphie and didn't seem to look twice at Rinoa. He also doesn't seem to have stopped smiling all evening and I notice that his eyes never seem to stray too far from Selphie either.

When Selphie was filling me in the parts of Squall's past that she knew, she told me that this ball was where Squall first met Rinoa. Yet in this reality, he hasn't even bothered with her. I wonder how that will affect future events. I look to Squall to see if he has noticed and I notice that he has slipped further down in his seat and is shifting about uncomfortably. I grin. Yeah, he's noticed! I look at Rinoa and realise that as of yet, she hasn't. Selphie looks slightly bewildered. She has definitely noticed SOMETHING! This could be interesting!

**----------Squall's P.O.V.----------**

Well up to the point where I was at Garden, I was definitely enjoying this other life. I was hoping that Laguna WOULD choose this reality but I am staring at the screen now in total bewilderment. It's not the fact that I am more outgoing which has boggled my mind – after all, in the other reality, I have grown up surrounded by people who love me and that's bound to have a positive effect. The PROBLEM is that onscreen; I seem to have a little crush on Selphie! I look at Rinoa to see whether or not she has picked up on it but as of yet she hasn't. Selphie though, definitely has. I slide down in my seat in the hope of making myself invisible. I have to laugh though whenever Seifer introduces Quistis and Zell as his best friends. I have always thought that if only Seifer would stop being an idiot around those two, he'd actually get on well with them both. Can't tell him that though, he doesn't want to hear it. Maybe now he'll listen though. I can but hope!

Unsurprisingly, Selphie, Zell and I pass our tests in that reality too and soon we are at the Ball celebrating. I have to laugh though as I watch myself dancing with more or less every single female student and instructor in the place. My enthusiasm wanes however when I notice Rinoa – or rather, when I notice that onscreen I DON'T notice her and instead dance more than I should with Selphie. I shrink further down in my seat and pray that Rinoa hasn't noticed but she has and she LAUGHS! "Oh my, it looks like you have a little crush Squall, hmm?" I take her hand then to reassure her. I really don't understand why this is happening. I love Rinoa, she has made my life a million times better and I really wouldn't want to be without her. I have NEVER even looked at Selphie in that way before…Have I?

The moment when things go wrong is when I watch frozen, as onscreen I ask Selphie out and she happily accepts and kisses me on the lips. I thought that this was meant to be a reward? I look at Rinoa first and she seems to have stopped finding this humorous – especially whenever we see us on the mission where we meet Rinoa properly for the first time and I have NO interest in her. I don't even want to look at Rinoa right now but somehow I make myself do it and I really wish I hadn't bothered. She is staring at the screen looking like she wants to kill someone. I sigh and look and Selphie only to realise that she looks as uncomfortable as I do. What makes matters worse is when I look over to Irvine and notice that he is sitting there with unshed tears in his eyes. Great! I feel like a total and utter evil person.

It is then that Kyzel speaks up again, "I think I'd better take the opportunity to remind you all that the events onscreen do not reflect events in this reality. Here is a perfect example. Squall and Selphie may be together in this other reality but please remember that the people onscreen are not the same people that are sitting beside you. Just because they are in a relationship there, does not mean that they want to be in this reality." With that, everyone relaxes again and I flash a grateful smile at Kyzel and the show continues.

Everything is fine. Even when Rinoa onscreen starts flirting with Zell, no one raises so much as an eyebrow. Although I will admit that it is a VERY strange sight to see my girlfriends trying it on unsuccessfully with one of my best friends. The problem comes when we watch Rinoa as she drags Zell, against his will, into a cupboard and tries but fails to seduce him...I am torn between horror at seeing the love of my life trying to get my friend interested and humour whenever he comes out screaming "Gah! It burns! It BURNS! MAKE IT STOP!" The humour wins but I force myself not to laugh because I notice that Rinoa is NOT happy…

Zell seems to be choking but I hear him mutter an apology to Rinoa even though there is nothing for him to apologise for in this life.

I look at Laguna then. He seems slightly bewildered by the events that are unfolding in on the screen in front of him. They were definitely unexpected!

More time flits by and suddenly Edea shows up. Of course this time, Seifer is not the one to go with her but a SeeD that I don't recognise called Claeton. Still things unfold much the same as they did in this reality. The biggest difference is that when Rinoa is lost in space. No one saves her…I stare at the screen against my will, my heart breaking completely as I am forced to watch Rinoa die. I reach for her hand and only then, when I feel her squeeze back, am I able to breath again.

I don't want this reality! I don't. I love Rinoa with all my heart and seeing her die onscreen just hammers it home how much I couldn't live without her…

I hear Rinoa scream then. "Oh my God! Laguna! Make it stop. Please! Make it Stop!" No one disagrees and everyone is watching him now.

**----------Laguna's P.O.V.----------**

I watch these events unfold and I realise with a deep sadness that I cannot go through with it. I want this world where my Son is happy so badly. I want Raine by my side but…how can I choose that knowing how unhappy everyone would be with that? How unhappy they are in this reality with the choice I would make for them? I can't do that to them. I cannot in all fairness condemn Rinoa to death. I sigh deeply and open my mouth to address Kyzel but he beats me to it. "Before you tell me your decision, you might as well watch the rest. There isn't much more to see." I already know my decision but I nod anyway and Kyzel lets the scene continue.

After Rinoa is gone, I watch as the SeeDs are taken out one by one – first Selphie, then Squall, Irvine, Quistis, Seifer then Zell. Apparently Claeton is much more dedicated to his task than Seifer ever was. I guess Seifer must have held himself back either consciously or sub-consciously. Somehow, knowing whom he was fighting kept them alive!

Of course, with the heroes all dead, the fate of the world is sealed. The Sorceress is in charge now. I shut my eyes for a second to take it all in. When I open my eyes again, the screen is blank and I breathe a sigh of relief.

Part of me though is still glad that I finished watching it. At least now I know that there were far-reaching implications to it all. Not just Rinoa but all the people in the world would either be killed by an evil sorceress or would live under her reign of terror. It's sad to think that I will not get to see Raine again after all but, at least now I know without a doubt that Squall was meant to have the life he did. I look at Kyzel "Thank you but I think I will keep with this reality!" He nods in understanding but does not say anything.

I take a second and look at Squall who surprises me by walking up to me and places his hand on my shoulder momentarily, "I'm sorry Laguna." I can see his eyes clearly and I know that he's apologising not just for the loss of Raine but for everything. I apologise as well to him. I've apologised many times before but, this time it's different. This time, he's accepted it. He stays beside me for a minute then he walks back to Rinoa and sits down. He didn't call me 'Dad' but it was a start. I can live with that.

Kyzel speaks up again, "Alright, I think it's probably a good idea at this time if you all took a break. Why don't you all head upstairs - or even outside for some fresh air for ten minutes and I'll get Mrs. Junan to make some tea and coffee." We all nod gratefully and leave the room.

I wonder what we will see in the next one? Will anyone want to see anything after that? What if everyone's is as hard to see at that was? I shudder involuntarily. I really don't want anyone to go through what I have been through – that wonderful hope then having to watch as their hopes and dreams come crashing down around them.

I shake my head to clear it. Okay, it wasn't a happy other life but, that's the point isn't it? At least now I know. At least I got to see Raine again even if it was only on screen. I got to see Squall as a baby, I got to see what he would have been like as a teenager and most importantly, for the first time since meeting him, I have hope that I will have a proper relationship with my son. That thought makes it worth it. I walk outside with a bounce in my step.

**A/N: **Wheeee….Quistis is up next. What will she choose?


	3. Quistis's 'What if'

Disclaimer: I still don't own Final Fantasy VIII or the company that DOES own it.

----------Kyzel's P.O.V.----------

I can't help but smile to myself a little as I look around this group of humans. They're all afraid right now - mostly because of the possibility that they're going to see something terrible. I know that what they seen in Laguna's vision wasn't overly pleasant but, in the long run, I do believe that they will be grateful to have been give the chance to witness their alternate realities even if they don't choose them. After all, if they ARE better, they can choose them.

I can't help but feel a certain affection for this group of humans - they intrigue me immensely. They each seem so strong on the outside…they managed to do their bit to save the world, yet inside they're so full of contradictions and questions about who they are and what their purpose is. When Hyne called me for this mission, I must admit to being extremely pleased. I've watched them all for the longest time (hey, after three millennia up in heaven I'm sure that you'd get bored too) anyway, the chance to meet them all was simply too good an opportunity to miss. So here I am, sitting in the room with them. I feel like a fanboi or something meeting his favourite actors. I already know who will speak next – Quistis of course. I even know what she wants to see. This is exactly why Hyne sent me, despite what they think, they all have just one thing that they each regret. Oh, they have other bits and pieces of course, but just one MAJOR thing that's eating away at them.

I look at Quistis and wait for her to notice me.

----------Quistis's P.O.V.----------

I wouldn't admit it to anyone but despite the fact that Laguna's vision had nothing to do with me, it scared me. It seemed to be going so well then BAM! It just went belly up. I'm almost scared to see what my alternate life is like but, at the end of the day, I know that I will regret it forever if I don't at least look. At least if it IS terrible, I'll know I made the right choice. If it's better, well then, I can always choose that reality, can't I? I notice the same foreboding in the eyes of everyone else in the room. No one else seems willing to step forward so I guess it's up to me.

I take a deep breath then I look at Kyzel and realise that he was waiting until he had my attention. Guess he already knew that I was going to volunteer next! I sigh and speak "My turn then, Kyzel?" He smiled encouragingly at me and I nod in agreement. "Well, the truth is, I was torn between two but I have decided what I want to see." I hear a sigh and turn to look at Rinoa and smile slightly at her, hopefully reassuring her.

"It's okay, Rinoa. I really don't want to know what my life would have been like if Squall had returned my feelings – I'm long since over him." I laugh easily then because it IS the truth. I don't care that he doesn't like me any more. Oh I know I said it before but for the first time, I accept that it's totally true and I feel a little more free. I turn my attention back to Kyzel.

"No. The reality that I want to see…" I turn my attention to Kyzel. "I would like to see what would have happened if I'd had the time to fill out the application form please?" He simply nods "As you wish!" I blink, doesn't he need to know what application form I'm referring to? But, of course he doesn't need to - he's an Angel of Hyne after all. In truth, it's the one thing that has really mattered to me. The one thing that keeps coming back to taunt me. It's by far my biggest regret or "What if.". I turn my attention fully to the screen where the film is starting up.

I watch as I sit at my desk, take off my glasses then rub my temples in the vain hope of relieving the headache that's building. When that doesn't work, I try to close my eyes and no doubt I am imagining myself being 'anywhere but here' - one of my favourite pastimes even now. Yes, this is the start of my one big regret; the moment that I faced the truth – I wasn't enjoying my job anymore – hadn't enjoyed it for the longest time.

I can't help but let out a sad sigh as onscreen I open my drawer and stare at the application form for the job that had started it all (Bodyguard/Secretary to the President of Esthar) I fill it out and stick it in my out tray. "It's in the hands of Hyne now!" I cast one last weary glance at the work sitting waiting in my 'in' tray and get up to go to bed instead. And that's where it changed. In this reality, I'd looked at the application form then back at the work in my 'in' tray and finished it instead. The application form lay in my desk until it was too late to send it in anyay.

I realise that Seifer finds my choice amusing so I turn to him with a questioning look and he shrugs, "I never expected that you would ever want to leave Garden but I figured that if you did, it would be for a higher ranking position in another Garden. I just find it slightly amusing that you would choose to work for Laguna." He surprises me again when he actually apologises to me, "I'm sorry, Quistis. I guess it was just a surprise!" I nod in understanding and turn back to the film:

I stare at the screen as I walk happily out of the interview, looking confident. I may not have attended the interview in this reality but, I do remember my initial reaction when I seen the job advertised. I'd wanted to work with Laguna and Ward and Kiros. I knew that it would be fun as well as rewarding and it would be so wonderful to work with people who are interested in my work and infinitely more satisfying than teaching a load of adolescents who have no interest in what I am trying to teach them or who are only in my class because they are from that obnoxious group that call themselves the 'Trepies'. Obviously the interview had done nothing to dampen my enthusiasm.

The screen flickers for a moment and we're watching Kiros and Ward discuss me. I can't resist a smile as they say that I'm perfect for the job – that I'm "definitely the perfect candidate." It's nice to hear it.

It switches back to me again as I walk through Garden's Gates looking more relaxed than I have in years. My relaxed expression doesn't even falter when I see Seifer walking towards me – nor even when it quickly becomes obvious that he is in a REALLY bad mood and therefore at his most venomous. I simply smile to him and continue on to my room and type up my resignation. It brings a smile to my face as the screen zooms in on Seifer's bewildered expression when he doesn't get the desired response. He eventually shrugs it off however and walks on to torment someone else. Oh, I am obviously high as a kite with the thought of the new challenges that await me, and the new people that I shall be working with. Seifer could have called me every name under the sun and it wouldn't have mattered – or even registered for that matter.

I watch as I sat in my room, typed up my resignation and signed it, sticking it in an envelope without a second thought. It's clear that I'd come to the conclusion that even if I didn't get the post, it was definitely time to move on.

I sign the letter and feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I should probably wait until tomorrow – actually common sense tells me to wait until I hear from Laguna but I don't care. I want out! It's not like I need to worry about money anyway. After Ultimecia, we were all compensated accordingly. Every one of the "heroes" could probably afford never to work again and live comfortably.

I walk to Cid's office and sing happily to myself every step of the way. Damn I feel good!

I knock the door and hear Cid tell me to enter and I walk to his desk. He looks at me and speaks. "Ah Quistis, what brings you here?" I salute to him and he acknowledges my gesture with one of his own, "Actually Sir, I am hereto hand in my notice." With that I hand over the letter. Cid reads it and sighs as he reads it. I can't resist a smile; I guess he didn't see that one coming.

He takes a minute to think over my letter and then he asks a question. "You wish to leave us, Quistis?" I nod, "yes Sir, I do. I feel that I have done as much in my post as I can."

Cid frowns, "You're sure? Is there anything that we can say to change your mind?

"No Sir, there's nothing. I just…can't do this any more. Of course, I will give the standard two weeks notice."

He nods sadly and then he tells me that, "Well Quistis, if you have made up your mind and there is nothing that I can do to change your mind, then all I can do is wish you all the best. I will miss you of course – both in a professional capacity and on a more personal level. However, I wouldn't want you to stay if you aren't happy here any more. He offers me his hand and I shake it and then smile happily, "Thank you very much Sir, it has been an honour to serve in Garden." I turn and leave with no regrets.

The next day, I get a phone call. Afterwards, I am grinning like a Cheshire Cat. I got the job. Yes! I'm getting out of here…I feel so carefree. It's a wonderful sensation.

----------Quistis's P.O.V.----------

Why is everyone glaring at me? What the heck is their problem? I have already sat through Laguna and Seifer's visions and – well okay, I did glare at Seifer a couple of times during his but as a rule, I have been accepting of everything that I have seen so far. Why can they not afford me the same courtesy? After all, I just endured watching myself being an evil bitch…aren't I allowed to have something good happen for a change? I just don't understand why they are glaring at me!

Anyway, it's only a "What If" isn't it? I don't HAVE to choose it. I glare back at them until they all return to watching the film.

----------Film----------

I take a deep breath and walk into Laguna's office. I guess he had forgotten that I was starting today because he is lounging in his seat with his feet up on the desk. When he sees me walk through the door, he hurriedly straightens up and pulls his feet to the ground – knocking several items from his desk to the floor in the process – then starts to blush furiously.

"Oh hello there Quistis, sorry about that. Umm, how are you?" He tries to arrange his desk in a tidier fashion but proceeds to knock more items to the floor, he sighs and then gives up. I smile, there is something very endearing about this man. I sit down opposite him, "I can't complain, Sir. I'm looking forward to working for you!"

He looks slightly alarmed when I say this, "woah, woah, woah! Okay. For starters, address me as Laguna okay? I'm not old enough to be 'Sir'. I mean, I'm old obviously compared to you uhh I mean, I probably seem old to you but…" He sighs, "Just…call me Laguna!"

He starts me off easy. I get a tour of his home. It's enormous. My room is at least three times the size of my SEED quarters. After that he tells me what my duties will be, "Um, basically, I need you to file stuff, take phone calls, type. You will also be acting as a bodyguard for me, which means that you will travel with me when I am going anywhere. Does that sound acceptable to you?" I nod happily, "That's sounds perfect, Sir!"

----------Quistis's P.O.V.----------

Time is passing quickly onscreen right before my eyes and I find that I am sitting forward eagerly. I want this. I really want this! But…what about Garden? What about Ultimecia? I look to Kyzel to ask him, "What about Garden though?" He smiles at me and points to the screen and I notice that the view has shifted.

Everything in Garden is at it was before I left – the only difference is that they replace me with a man I do not recognise. When it comes to the confrontation with Edea, it is Xu who takes my place. Events unfold as they did in this time.

Am I really that unimportant? I stayed here because I thought that I was needed, yet my void left by my departure has been filled easily by Xu and another instructor.

My life with Laguna however, seems to be going well, though.

The view shifts again and we are looking at Laguna and I again:

----------Film----------

I get out of bed and have a shower and eat my usual breakfast of coffee and a croissant. I smile as I realise that Laguna is back today. This was the first time since I joined his staff that I did not accompany him. He told me specifically though that he wanted me to sit this one out.

I have been working constantly since I started my job six months ago. The difference is that in Garden, it felt like work. Working for Laguna is different. I enjoy every minute of it.

I jump up quickly when I hear my cell phone ringing and rush to answer it. I smile when I see who it is who is ringing me, "Hello Laguna. You're back? Yes, I'll be down in five minutes." I smile as I cancel the phone and then I stop breathing…

"Well, that's inappropriate. I have a crush on my boss!" I shake my head and tidy up and wash my breakfast plates then I head downstairs…It'll pass. Of course it will!

----------Quistis's P.O.V.----------

What? Oh no way! I do NOT fancy Laguna! Do I? I hear Seifer laugh at that and I feel myself get very red. Oh, this is embarrassing. I'm NOT ever going to be able to look at Laguna ever again!

----------Laguna's P.O.V.----------

I realise that everyone is staring at Quistis so I take the opportunity to slide a bit further down in my chair. Oh dear! I am not complaining about the possibility that Quistis likes me. I'm merely worried because I imagine that the Laguna in the other reality probably feels the same way that I do only more so because he has been spending more time with her…I think we're going to get together…I risk a glance at Squall…Oh he's definitely not amused. Wonderful!

----------Film----------

Laguna walks up to my desk and he seems to be slightly uncomfortable. I panic for a second. Does he know that I like him? That can't be good. I don't want to lose this job. I have never enjoyed a job as much as I enjoy this one…I mean working with someone as gorgeous and funny and pretty much all round fantastic as Laguna is definitely a bonus but, I genuinely enjoy my work…maybe I can talk my way out of this? It's not like he really needs to worry. I have never asked a guy out in my life. Surely he can't be worried that I am going to throw myself at him? Damn it! I REALLY don't want to lose this job…

It occurs to me that my little crush might be more than that now…oh dear! I file that thought away under 'For later Inspection' and I look up at him nervously and wait for him to speak.

When he finally does speak, I nearly die. "Um, Quistis, I was wondering…uhh…would you like…oh damn it! My leg!"

He walks away from me and seems to be in some pain. I realise that, this must be what Kiros was telling me about…apparently when Laguna gets nervous, he gets a cramp in his leg. Wait! Why is he nervous? He's only asking me…What IS he asking me?

I wait for him to come back and ask whatever it is, "Uhm, yeah. Sorry about that…I was wondering if you would like to go out to dinner with me…you know, on a date…uhm…I'm sorry. I'm sure that being such a beautiful, young woman you have lots of admirers who can offer you more than I can but…" I stop him right there. "I'd love to, Laguna. Thank you!" We smile at each other and he goes back to his office to make arrangements.

----------Quistis's P.O.V.----------

Oh Hyne! This is excruciatingly embarrassing. Not the fact that Laguna and I are together but rather that everyone is watching stuff that should be private. As I have been watching this film, it has occurred to me that I really do have a crush on Laguna. That could be damn awkward. After all, just because he likes me in that reality, doesn't mean that he likes me here. I risk looking at him but he is staring resolutely straight ahead. How will I ever face him again knowing that I have a crush on him when he doesn't feel the same way?

----------Laguna's P.O.V.----------

Damn! I have watched myself onscreen and it's embarrassing. I haven't actually been with a woman since Raine. I haven't felt the need or the inclination to have a serious relationship. Sure, there have been women and I've even been on dates. Hell, I've even had sex with some of them but, no one has really captured my heart the way that Raine or even Julia did. I suspect that Quistis could. Very easily! I can't even look at her right now. She's probably thinking that I am a dirty old man or something. "Hyne? If you're listening, could the ground PLEASE swallow me up? Now? PLEASE?" Of course it doesn't so I return to the film.

----------Film----------

I have never felt this way before in my life. How did he become so important to me so quickly? I don't want to imagine what my life would be like without him. It's just to frightening to contemplate.

I look up and am surprised to see Squall, Xu and a young woman that I do not recognise standing in front of me. They fill me in on the details of their fight with the Sorceress. I am saddened when they tell me what happened to Seifer. I had really hoped that he would sort himself out but part of me is just grateful that he is not my problem any more. Yet another part of me feels guilty for even thinking of that.

Squall introduces me to Rinoa. I can tell that he likes her. I don't know whether they have acknowledged it yet. What I do know is that it doesn't bother me. Not even a little bit. I have to admit though, I'm mildly curious as to what she has that no other woman before has had. Oh well.

----------Quistis's P.O.V.----------

More time passes by, Laguna and I grow closer. It actually hurts to watch us onscreen. We're totally in love with each other. I never even realised that I could love as deeply as I love him. Even though I know that it's a different reality, I realise that my feelings for Squall here are not love. Knowing that I can care for someone as deeply – in any reality – means that I have to accept finally that I really don't love Squall.

With that knowledge comes relief and I relax and smile. I feel…free! I smile slightly.

I watch as Squall and Rinoa and the rest of my friends defeat Ultimecia and I watch as Laguna and I turn up to Garden to celebrate with everyone. Finally, we are free. We're safe! I am only half watching this because I am also a little distracted with my thoughts. It's only when Laguna kneels in front of me that I give the screen my full attention:

----------Film----------

"You probably weren't expecting this, Quistis but I want to do it right. You deserve it done properly." He smiled tenderly up at her then. "Quistis, I love you, I don't want to spend my life without you. I want to wake up beside you every morning and I want to know that you're my wife. Will you do me the honour of becoming my Wife?" She smiles then and nods. I stand up, place the ring on her finger then kiss her gently and then I pull back to look at her. "Thank you!" With that, she pulls me close to her and holds me tight, "Oh Laguna, I love you so much!"

Naturally enough, the celebrations round us getting even more lively. People are coming up and congratulating us.

It is only when Squall walks up to us that I start to worry, "Hey Quistis, I guess that means you're going to be my new Mommy! I don't need to call you Mom do I?"

Now how the heck do you deal with that? I panic for a second and look up at Laguna who seems to be lost for words. Squall breaks the silence. "Oh my God, you should have seen your faces! That was priceless!" He collapses in laughter and Rinoa and I follow suit.

A couple of minutes pass and we sober up. Squall looks at Laguna. "I don't understand fully why you left me, Laguna. I'd like you to explain it to me. Now's not the time though. How about we get together tomorrow to talk?" Laguna nods in agreement and Squall offers us his congratulations before walking off with Rinoa.

I take a second then I look at Laguna and he kisses me.

----------Laguna's P.O.V.----------

I stare at the screen in confusion. I don't understand. How come, in that reality, Squall seems to like me? Does me being with Quistis really make that big a difference? How? Why?

----------Squall's P.O.V.----------

I can guarantee that, right at this minute, Laguna is wondering why I can accept him so easily in the other reality. It doesn't surprise me, actually. Despite the way that I act in this reality, I have always put faith in what Quistis thinks. I have always thought that she was a good instructor and her opinions of people have almost always been right on the button.

The only problem with Quistis that I had was the fact that I thought she liked me more than I wanted her to. I like Quistis. I just never LIKED her. Not like that.

Anyway, the point is, if she fell in love with Laguna. I would have accepted that he was a good man simply because she thought that he was. I turn to the screen to see what is happening now. We have switched back to Laguna and Quistis.

----------Film----------

"Quistis, you can't be my bodyguard any more. You can still be my Secretary but we will have to get a new bodyguard. You're going to be my wife, darling. That makes you as big a target as I would be." I scowl at him. So now, just because I am going to be his wife, I have to stay at home? I don't like it and I tell him as much. He just smiles, "I'm not saying that! You're my wife, I expect you to be at my side, Quistis. I NEED you by my side. I am merely saying that you can't be my bodyguard, Baby, I don't want anything to happen to you. I CAN'T lose anyone else in my life!" Quistis nodded in understanding. "Okay, tomorrow, we will get us some new bodyguards. Let's get to this meeting now though or we'll be late!" They kissed briefly and left to go to the meeting.

"Well, that was exciting! Oh I'm so tired Laguna. I can't wait to get home!" They walked to their car enjoying each other's company when a shout stopped them. They turned in time to see someone pointing a gun at Laguna! "You bastard! Seifer should have been punished! It's your fault that he's free! DIE!"

Quistis didn't even have time to think. She just dived in front of Laguna to protect him as the crazy man pulled the trigger…

----------Quistis's P.O.V.----------

I watch the screen feeling like a broken woman as the perfect life that could have been mine is torn from me. It's not fair. I snort in an unladylike fashion. That's just typical. Nothing in life has ever gone right for me has it? I look at the screen as I die in Laguna's arms.

----------Film----------

"NO!" I don't even realise that it is me that is screaming until I am pulled to the ground by some guards. The attacker is brought down by some other guards but it's too late. All I can do is hold Quistis in my arms and try and offer her some comfort in her last moments.

She looks up at me and smiles sadly, "I knew things were going too well My Darling, I love you. Don't forget that. I'll wait for you!" I stare at her, "No Quistis, NO! You can't leave me! NO! Please? Don't go! QUISTIS! I LOVE YOU…Don't go!" She raises her hand and runs it down my cheek. "I'm so sorry, my Darling!" I kiss her gently for the last time and feel the last breath leave her body and then I take a gun from one of the guards before they can react and I shoot the attacker until there are no bullets left in the gun. I collapse to the ground beside my beloved Quistis….

----------Laguna's P.O.V.----------

The room is totally quiet around us as the film comes to an end. For once, my life seemed perfect and once again a woman that I love has been taken from me. What did I do to deserve this? I bury my face in my hands briefly but look up when Kyzel speaks.

"I'm sorry for letting you see so much detail in the last part. However, it was necessary. Normally, I am not allowed to intervene but Hyne has a plan apparently. The man that just killed Quistis on screen is someone who you need to keep an eye out for in the near future."

I nod at Kyzel and say thanks but he walks over to me and whispers so that only I can hear, "That's what Hyne asked me to tell you. However, I think that Quistis has been through enough already so I am also going to break a rule and point out that you and Quistis COULD have a future in this reality too."

I blush a wonderful shade of red then and risk a glance at Quistis and I realise that when we get out of this, I'm going to ask her out.

Kyzel walks away and speaks to everyone in general. "I think another break is required. How about we all meet back here again in an hour?" With that, he walked out of the room and everyone followed.

I realised that Quistis was beside me and I badly wanted to speak to her, "Quistis, uh...look…um…after this is done, do you want to go for dinner?" She smiles at me then, the most beautiful smile that I have ever seen. "That would be really nice, Laguna. Thank you, yes." I smile and take her hand and we walk out of the room.

--------------------------------------

A/N: Thanks go once again to Matron Raenee/Albel Fittir for her input into this story at the beginning.


	4. Irvine's 'What if'

Disclaimer: We don't own Final Fantasy 8, nor do we make any money from this story. Notice my use of the word 'We' here… I didn't write this chapter, I had no influence over it at all. I have to admit that I think it's the best chapter to date. Isn't Irvine just perfect? Many thanks to **Lady Twist** for taking the time to write this. Thank you, thank you, thank you…

---- Selphie's P.O.V. -----

How could he say there's nothing? I KNOW there's something he wishes had gone different! I also suspect that I'm not going to find out what until we see it, and knowing Irvine, he'll make us wait until last. We wander back in, once again taking the same position on the couch. Once everyone else returns, Kyzel looks at Irvine. "You've decided." It's not a question at all.

Irvine nods, meeting the angel's eyes. The moment before he speaks seems to go on forever. "I have to know. What if Deling went down different?" I stare at him. How could it have gone any different than it did? He pulls me closer and sighs. 

-------- Irvine's P.O.V. --------

"Don't ask the easy questions, do you?" Kyzel frowns slightly.

"Nope." This is something I need to know that I haven't been able to muck out in my head.

"Okay." The lights dim and I watch as Squall and I get a clearly-shaken Rinoa up to the carousel with only a couple of minutes to spare. I really didn't want to start here, but looks like there's not much choice.

--------- FILM ---------------------

Squall hands me the rifle and says dispassionately, "Irvine Kinneas, it's in your hands now."

My hands take the gun of the own volition. I move to the far side of the circle to try and resolve my thoughts with my mission. Nobody else knows the importance of the intended target. I do. When Edea ... Matron ... sent us to the different Gardens, I was the last to leave. Mostly because I was stubborn - I insisted one of us had to remember everything and it had to be me. How I knew none of the others would remember, I may never know. I just did, and it was damned important. Now, it doesn't seem like such a good choice. What do you do when the woman that raised you decides world domination is a good idea?

And Cid - Hyne help him. Nobody should have to give the order to kill his wife. I've got real mixed feelings on being pulled for this, but I KNOW this isn't who she really is and somebody's got to save her from herself. Part of me wants to blame Cid for not handling this personally, but I can't really. I'm still not completely sure I can do this myself.

Lights flicker on around us and the carousel creatures begin to move. "Dammit," I mumble, turning to face the street. I sense more than see Squall crouching down beside me. I start to raise the gun, then lower it.

"Don't tell me you're getting the jitters." His voice holds barely masked contempt.

"I ... I can't do it." I hear the clang of first one gate, then the other, dropping to the ground.

"Irvine Kinneas!"

"I ... I can't ... I'm sorry. I can't do it. I always freeze like this ..." My chest feels like it's going to explode as I ramble out lame excuses, praying for some other option to slap me in the face. Finally, we reach the end of Squall's patience.

"Enough! Just shoot!"

"I can't, dammit!" And we're out of time - for options, for explanations, for everything.

I feel his eyes on me, and I can't bring myself to return his look. "I don't care if you miss. Whatever happens, just leave the rest to us." He sounds like he means that. "Just think of it as a signal. A sign for us to make our move."

I close my eyes, taking a deep breath. "Just a signal ..."

"Please."

I turn and raise the rifle to my shoulder. He's released me from actually having to shoot her. Could I live with what would happen if I didn't? "... Just a sign," I breathe, sighting down the barrel and silently promising Matron a clean death. Exhaling slowly, I squeeze the trigger and close my eyes as she shot rings out.

Neither Squall nor Rinoa moves. There are screams from the crowd below, a backdrop to an anguished roar that I recognize on some level as Seifer.

"... I'm sorry," I whisper to everyone.

"No reason to be." Squall stands. up. "Nice shot. You got her."

"What?" There' s no way I can NOT look. Even at this distance, I can make out the dark crumpled form on the float and I feel like throwing up. "How?"

"Doesn't matter. Take care of Rinoa. I'm going to find Seifer." He heads out, leaving the two of us alone on the carousel. I put the gun down and stare at my hands before stuffing them in my pockets. This has got to be the worst day of my entire life. Where did I get off thinking I could do this?

"Guess done is done, huh?" Rinoa comes over and lays a hand on my arm. "You okay, Irvine? I mean, you did what you had to do, right? I guess she wasn't as strong as everybody thought."

I duck my head. "M- ... Edea was plenty strong. She just ... something happened is all." I'd give my left leg to know what. "It's what we do, right?"

"Doesn't mean it doesn't suck." She nudges me with her shoulder. "Come on. Let's find everybody else and get out of here."

It turns out to be several days before we get to leave Deling city. I follow the others to Balamb Garden, figuring to do the right thing and be face to face with Cid when we report. Seifer ... we're not sure where he is. Personally, I think it's better that way. I doubt if he wants much to do with us anyway at this point.

I opt to stay at Balamb for a while. They have some classes that Galbadia doesn't offer that I will need to graduate. After a month of normal, complete with homework, I realize that this isn't what I want anymore. Quistis is the most outspoken about not understanding.

"So you do one mission, one that went right, I might add, and you're leaving." She eyes me over her glasses as I pack. "Didn't figure you for a quitter, Kinneas."

"Quisty ..." That gets me a sharp glare. "Instructor Trepe, it's a long story. I just ... This ain't me anymore, y'know? I need to go find out what is."

"You're so close, Irvine. Doesn't it seem like you're throwing away all that time?"

I shrug. "Yeah, but I need to do something else now."

"What, go raise chocobos?"

"Maybe. Won't know till I get there." I smile and walk over to drop an arm across her shoulders. "Admit it, you'll miss me terribly. That's what all this is about, isn't it?"

"Yeah, right!" Giving an amused and unlady like snort, she slides away. "Whatever keeps you going, Irvine. Keep in touch, though? Let us know how the real world treats you?"

"Always, darling." I go back to sorting through things. It's amazing how fast junk accumulates. "And if any of ya'll need a vacation, you're more than welcome to come stay with me any time."

Quistis laughed. "I'l remember that." She starts out the door, then rushes back for a hug. "Stay safe and be well, Irvine."

"You too, Quisty." I return the hug, keeping her just a couple seconds longer than she planned. "Anything you need, call me. Any of you. Okay?"

She nods and darts away as soon as I release her. Nobody else stops by, so I head for the cafeteria to say my goodbyes.

Everybody's there but Selphie, so I sit down next to Rinoa. "We're short one."

Squall looks up from the paperwork he's acquired since Cid's retirement. "Infirmary. Helping with inventory. Said don't leave before she gets here." He goes back to the forms. You'd think Xu would have the larger stack, being Headmistress, but no. The Chief Tactical Officer has more. I feel for him, really.

I watch Rinoa slowly reach between the paper and his face just to steal a potato chip and smile. She's determined, that's for sure. "Didn't plan on it. Don't want to be hunted by an angry Selphie. Not a pretty scene."

"So, dude, you really leaving?" Zell asks after polishing off the last of his hot dog.

"Yup."

"You still haven't told us everything." Rinoa pokes me in the ribs. "Going to go do something really exciting? Or tired of filing things for Squall?"

"Not my fault," he grunts quietly. "Blame Xu."

"Yeah, yeah." She waves a hand dismissively. "So, seriously, Irvine, what are you going to do? Where are you going to go?"

"Galbadia, most likely, and not sure yet." Suddenly it's dark, someone's hands over my eyes.

"And what if we don't let you leave?" a falsely deep voice asks right next to my ear.

"What'cha gonna do, sweetheart, tie me to the fountain?"

"No." Selphie 'hmph's and sits down. "Just doesn't seem right. And I know it's that mission against the sorceress. Did you know her or something?" She looks surprised when I nod. "Who is she ... was she? How did you know her?"

They should have been told before this, but there never was a good time with all of them around at once. "We all did, except Rinoa. We were all at the same orphanage on Centra, even Seifer. Edea was our matron and well ..." I shrug and drop my eyes to the plate before me. Suddenly I'm not at all hungry. "You guys are staying, being SeeDs, that's fine for you. Not for me anymore."

"She's not completely gone, Irvine." Rinoa's hand squeezes my shoulder a little harder than necessary.

Selphie nods emphatically. "Yeah, she's still watching over you. Like her and Hyne are hanging out keeping an eye on the wayward cowboys."

I open my mouth to say something smart-aleck, but Rinoa cuts me off. "Not quite what I meant." Her voice sounds odd, and apparently I'm not the only one that noticed. Everyone at the table is staring at her.

Her eyes have shifted from brown to grey and have this vacant look to them. Her smile ... well, it just isn't right. "No one ever told you? When a sorceress dies, her powers get passed to the closest sorceress. In this case, I think I got a two-for-one deal."

--------- Irvine's P.O.V. ----------

"Shut that OFF!" I stand and glare at Kyzel. "I get your damn point, but it would NOT have happened like that." Without waiting for him to call a break, I stalk out of the room. He wants us to realize things are better now, okay, I get that. Exactly how is watching everything blow up in your face from a different choice a good thing? I personally am finding it more tortuous than helpful and I need some damn air!


	5. Seifer's 'What if'

A/N: Yay, it's Seifer's turn! I didn't write this chapter either – it was written by Raven-Leigh. (Thank you so much Sissy. You did a wonderful job!)

Disclaimer: We don't own Final Fantasy 8 or any of its characters. However, if Squaresoft want to give us Seifer, Squall and Irvine…we wouldn't say no..! 

------Seifer's POV------

Okay, so the thing with Irvine was a complete surprise. Most folks think that they know what they want, but do they really? I dunno what I want. I bet everyone thinks they know what I'm gonna choose, but even I'm not sure. I mean, I look at it lots of different ways. The one thing that I would first think of would probably be the sorceress situation. However, didn't Laguna's little situation already prove that I was meant to be the sorceress's lapdog? I mean, someone else wouldn't have held themselves back like I did, right? Sure, I'm a bastard, but I couldn't have really murdered all of them could I? I damn well tried, but somewhere deep down inside I still saw 'em as the little kids they were, right? I dunno. I guess that's to be left alone. Then what do I ask for?

I sigh as Irvine gets up and storms out of the room. I can't really blame the poor guy for reacting the way he is. I mean, I guess I would'a reacted the same way. It's really a shock to see what's in front of you, a great life and future, blow straight up in your face after it's been allegedly promised to you if you liked it better. I mean, what's the point of choosing things to enjoy if you can't enjoy 'em for a long time? I think the whole bit is a crock of bullshit. Sure, I'm curious. I wanna know what might've happened to me. But, what if I don't know what I wanna do? The very thought bugs me.

------Quistis's POV------

Staring over at Seifer, I silently shake my head as I realize that he's probably in the dark about what he's going to choose. I mean, what does he have left to ask for? He's already seen what would happen with the sorceress bit. He was the sorceress's leading man, and there was a reason for that. I sigh as he stands up and starts pacing back and forth, hands behind his back. When everyone else starts staring at him, including Irvine who has just wandered back in from his little break, I know it's his turn. What could Seifer possibly want? I viewed him in the past as a messed up kid, not able to really comprehend his actions, but he's grown into a real man, hasn't he? He's slightly younger than I am, as we're the two oldest of the original orphanage gang plus Rinoa. Thinking back on our childhood, I just realized how much he'd grown up. Is it strange how a person only needs a few rough things thrown at him to get his head out of his ass and shape up? Cid certainly thought it was a miracle…but that's for another time. I look up at him as his blue eyes light up with sudden realization of what he wants. Kyzel stands, glancing over at Seifer. "You've reached a decision, Seifer. It's your turn… Your wish is my command." Seifer seems to be in a daze as he stares at the angel, then slowly nods and sinks down into the cushion of the chair he'd occupied shortly before the break.

------Seifer's POV------

I stare in amazement as slowly, the scene on screen fills with light. Staring at it, I wonder what lies in store for me. Staring in wonder, I actually have to pinch myself when I realize I got my wish. Wow… Rare gift, right?

The little boy on screen laughs with wonder as he looks up at his father. I'd been abandoned by mine when I was a child after my mother died. The father ruffled the child's hair and actually smiled down at him, carrying him through the bustling streets of Balamb. The smiles and laughter were what really caught me off guard at first. Looking back at the child in the orphanage, I realize just how sullen I was when I got away from everyone else. I was by no means a happy child, almost exactly like Squall.

As the child giggles and bounces up and down on his father's shoulders, I can't help but smile. They're walking toward Balamb Garden, the place that me and the rest of 'em call home. Watching the screen, I notice how well my child self interacts with the other children around him. I wish I'd been able to have that happiness when I was that age.

Suddenly, the scene switches to an older and more confident Seifer. Not the jerk that I am in this life, I am amazed as I actually have friends all around me. Popularity? Wow. People mill around the Seifer in that life, laughing at his jokes, and poking fun at him without fear of being added to the 'list' or being made fun of. By now, I feel the rest of them around me chuckling and nudging each other, as if making a joke of the situation. Frowning, I don't feel too happy with what I see on screen. If I'd wanted to be popular, I most certainly could've been on my own, damnit. Deep down inside, I know that what I was seeing really hit a nerve. I just kid myself, wishing I could've been popular when I really had wanted everyone to like me. Unfortunately, it just doesn't work out for the smartass blonde that has a vengeance for all that he suffered in the past. Looking up at the screen again, I notice how much I interact with a new boy. The spiked blonde hair and bouncy attitude really lets me know who it is at first glance. It's a young Zell. The young man bounces around my younger self, punching lightly at his shoulders and back with precision that only comes with being Chickenwuss.

------Zell's POV------

I stare in amazement at myself interacting with Seifer. Wow, was I really like that when I was younger? Probably not. It's just a thing on screen, right? Another life, another world, correct? I'm not so sure about it right now, but I laugh as my younger self beans the younger Seifer directly in the back of the head with an uncovered fist. Watching them whirl around, fighting and eventually laughing, I find myself smiling. I wish I'd been able to talk, laugh, and joke with Seifer so easily when we were that young. Can a little boy's father really change a guy's personality so much that he no longer has the need to prove himself by being aggressive?

I continue to watch the scene, amazed when Seifer and myself grow closer and closer together as time passes. It seems that we're best friends in that world, that different place. Who would've thought that? The scene changed yet again, showing us at Seifer's eighteenth birthday party. Fujin and Raijin are nowhere to be seen because Seifer has no need for misfits and unwants there. Everyone that he grew up with and Rinoa are there to celebrate his coming of age. I watch with a strange feeling of bitterness as Rinoa wraps her arms around him and kisses him on the chin. What if Seifer picks this one! I'm suddenly worried what he might choose.

------Seifer's POV------

As I realize what's going on, I glance over at Rinoa and Squall. Rinoa seems to be blushing brightly and clinging tighter to Squall, who passes a glare over at me. I kinda sink down in my chair and try to become invisible. I faintly hear Kyzel chuckle over my reaction. That drew me to look back at the screen. There, I'm loved and wanted; therefore I make SeeD the first time I try instead of after I'm welcomed back to Garden after Ultimecia. I go on the missions with the rest of them, and like in Laguna's scenes, I am not the sorceress's lapdog. Instead of the same guy in Laguna's, however, it's Squall that goes off the deep end and goes off with the sorceress. It seems that we switch roles in that life. I watch as slowly, Squall screams and tries to protect his sorceress, but I show no mercy. Blood splatters against the bricks as Squall is slain by my gunblade. The sorceress follows shortly. Ultimecia's reign is ended, but we lose a friend. I can feel everyone's eyes boring into the back of my head as I watch in horror. "No…NO NO NO! I like it the way it is now!" I stood up and stared down at the floor. "I just… Neh." I feel myself fluidly start moving toward the door, out toward the hallway beyond. I can't bring myself to look at any of them as I go.

--------------------------------

Kyzel blinked and looked around. "Well that was interesting! Uh, why don't you all take a break…I think when you get back, Zell's up. Isn't that right, Zell?" I smile a little as Zell nods almost enthusiastically. Before this vision, he'd seemed unsure but, obviously something he saw just now has helped him decide…should be interesting! I do believe he's thought of a way to get the answer that he's wanted for so long…

**End chapter**


	6. Zell's 'What If'

**Disclaimer: **Still don't own Final Fantasy…darn it!

-Coughs- Anyway, a general warning: This chapter contains some very mild YAOI! Sorry if it bothers you, I just couldn't resist. –hands out popcorn to everyone- Mmm, popcorn!

Zell walked around the house, making the most of the break, stretching his limbs and trying to relax a little. There'd been something about Seifer's vision that had knocked him off-balance…a hint of something. He shook his head. He refused to let that thought go any further, it had to have been his imagination.

He sighed as he rounded the corner, seeing the man himself ahead. He bounded over to him, was just about to speak when Seifer turned to him. "What do you want, chickenwuss? Come to gloat, huh? Find it amusing that the one time things go right for me, I still have to turn it down?" He snarled at him and stormed off. Zell stared after him, feeling the usual mix of emotions. Anger won out. "Asshole!" He stomped back to the room, his good mood evaporating.

He glared at Seifer as he came into the room again, He felt even angrier when Seifer returned the glare. _I hate you, I hate you, I HATE YOU! _He shook his head and sat down as far away as possible from the other man and looked up at Kyzel.

**---Kyzel's P.O.V.---**

I looked around at everyone in the room. As expected, no one is making eye contact with me. Definitely not surprising given the way that the previous visions have turned out. In a sense, I feel sorry for them all but, I know that they will see in time that things are the way that they are now for a reason. I finally manage to make eye contact with the spirited blonde one. "Are you ready, Zell?"

**---Zell's P.O.V.---**

I look at Kyzel and shrug. "Oh right! Oh! Um, okay…well the only thing that springs to mind is what would have happened to me if Ma hadn't adopted me, you know - if I'd stayed in the Orphanage." I look at Kyzel and he nods, he motions to the screen where the movie is starting and I turn to watch.

**---Movie---**

Seifer and Zell are fighting. It's a good day for them, they are on friendly enough terms despite the fact that neither of them appears to be pulling their punches - they're testing out their fighting skills. Unfortunately, Zell moves a little too close to Seifer. Seifer hits him a little too hard and he stumbles back, losing his footing and as he falls to the ground, his head hits a huge rock. He blacks out. Seifer panics for a moment then he carefully lifts Zell and carries him back to the Orphanage. By the time he gets back, there are tears streaming down his eyes.

Edea sighs as she sees Seifer heading her way with the smaller boy in his arms then shakes her head. Seeing Seifer or Zell (mostly Zell to be truthful though) hurt by the other is nothing new – the two boys were always either best friends or worst enemies depending on what they felt like that day. She moves quickly to take the younger boy from Seifer's arms and cures him. He'd wake up soon, no serious damage fortunately.

There's a knock at the door and Edea leaves the room to answer it. Seifer stays with his friend to keep an eye on him. It's Mrs Dincht. She wants to adopt a child. Of course, with Zell lying in his bed, she never sees him. She chooses Squall.

**---Random thoughts.---**

Whoa! Ma Dincht could have been my mother? That's sad. She's such a nice woman. Would have been nice to have someone to call Mom! Meh! Then Zell would have been without someone. That wouldn't have been fair on him either. – Squall

I remember that day – so, my life was changed by the fact that I moved too close to Seifer? That's all it took? More importantly though, Seifer and I used to be friends? How in the name of all that is holy, did I forget something like THAT? – Zell

Huh! I can tell that Zell HAD forgotten that we were friends. I guess that explains a lot! – Seifer

**---Movie---**

Time passed quickly on screen; Zell and Seifer were closer than ever. They spent so much time in each other's company that they could finish each other's sentences. They even seemed to be able to communicate without saying a word. Relying on nothing more but a look from the other. Of course, other children came and took the places of Squall, Quistis etc. but they never managed to come between Zell and Seifer. They rarely talked to anyone else, enjoying each other's company far too much to want to include anyone else.

Even when they fought, they didn't really bother with the other children. They just went off to their own place to sulk until they were in better form. Zell of course, usually ended up curled on his bed. Seifer meanwhile, preferred to head down to the beach and stomp about until he was calmer again.

Somehow, they always seemed to snap out of it at the same time…they would meet half way and smile at each other. No need for apologies. They both knew that they were sorry. No more was ever said on the subject. Friends once more – until the next time!

**---Scene Transition---**

Squall was growing up happily. He adored Ma Dincht and would do anything she asked. She in turn gave him all the motherly love that he so desperately needed. He was turning into a well-adjusted boy. He was friendly and outgoing. Talked and laughed with everyone. His favourite clothes were NOT black! He was…happy!

He had many friends in Balamb. Everyone adored him. He always had something nice to say about everyone and he was funny too – could make even the most stony-faced person smile with an ease that would surprise most people. It made him the ideal pacifier. When anybody was heading towards a fight, he seemed to be able to say just the right thing to diffuse the situation and would have the people concerned in stitches in seconds.

**---Scene Transition---**

Seifer and Zell were going to go to Garden when they were old enough. They'd spent many hours discussing it. They wanted to see the world and save the innocents – they wanted to be remembered as heroes - It would be great! They planned their new life in minute detail during their quieter moments. They would train together, go on missions together and maybe even get to share a dorm. Go to classes, see the world, get paid for the privilege…it was going to be great!

They were both sad however, when it came time for Seifer to join. It would be another year before Zell could join him. They were going to miss each other! Zell was distraught. Sure, there were other children now who had filled the places of the old orphanage gang but none of them could hope to take Seifer's place. He didn't want to talk to any of them, didn't want to share his dreams and hopes for the future with any of them. He ran away from the older boy when it was time to say goodbye. Seifer set his belongings down with a sigh and went after him.

He found him on his bed, huddled up in a ball, crying silently. Seifer watched him for a moment from the door, composing himself. He sighed sadly then walked up to the bed and climbed over beside him, pulling the younger boy into a hug. "It's gonna be okay, Zelly. Believe me. This year's gonna fly past, 'kay? I promise. We'll be back together causing trouble in no time." He grinned at the shorter blonde.

Zell sniffled and looked up at the older boy. "Promise?" Seifer smiled at him and wiped away his tears. "Of course! Besides, I'm gonna be back here every chance I get anyway. I don't want you forgetting me you know!" He hugged Zell even closer to him and sighed deeply. Zell chuckled slightly holding him just as tightly. "No chance of that, Seify! I'm gonna miss you so much!"

**---General P.O.V.---**

Selphie stared at the screen in shock. "You're actually friends. I mean REALLY good friends in this other reality. How weird is that?" She looked at Seifer and Zell but neither man paid her any attention. They had both been totally absorbed by the events onscreen. Sensing…something between them. They were now lost in their own thoughts.

Selphie poked Zell and he actually jumped. He turned to glare at her. Speaking sharper than what was strictly necessary. "WHAT?" Selphie looked slightly hurt momentarily. "I SAID, you and Seifer are good friends in the reality up there, isn't that weird?" Zell merely shrugged and then got lost in his own thoughts once again. Seifer turned and looked at Zell for a moment wearing a puzzled expression on his face. No one noticed – no one but Squall, that is.

Squall frowned. Did he just…? Are they…? Does he like Zell? Is that what all this has been about? He didn't say a word to anyone about what he was thinking but it seemed clear to him that Zell and Seifer onscreen were more than friends. Did that follow through in this reality too? Is that what all their fighting was really about?

Rinoa suddenly spoke up, squeeing happily. "Oh my! You two are just soooo sweet!" She bounced a little on her chair. "Imagine that you two are friends! You should definitely choose that reality!

Seifer snapped out of it and turned to look at Kyzel. "Can we see more, please?" He was too distracted by the onscreen events - he didn't even seem to hear any of the comments from the people around him.

**---Movie---**

Seifer joined Garden. It was okay. He missed his friend, though. He applied himself to his studies and trained hard. He went back to see Zell every chance he could get.

They grew closer than ever, despite or maybe because of the separations. They continued to train together when they got the chance. Seifer chose a gunblade. There was just something about it that called to him. During his training with Seifer, Zell had tried many different weapons as Seifer would bring something new with him when he came back to let him try them out but he never really felt comfortable with any of them. Zell chose to use his fists. He just felt most confident using them.

**---Scene Transition---**

Finally, it was time for Zell to join Garden also. It was the weekend. He was due to start tomorrow so he was in his room packing up his stuff. He looked up and smiled as Seifer came into the room. "Hey Zell, guess what?" Zell smiled again. "Dunno, what?" Seifer grinned. "The guy I was sharing a room with - Raijin something or other - just left. Which means that, tomorrow when you come in, you could ask to be put with me! What do you think?"

Zell grinned at Seifer. "Duh! That's a bit of a no-brainer! Of course I'm gonna ask to share the room!" Seifer laughed. "Just checking!" Zell shook his head and threw a stuffed animal that belonged to one of the younger children at him then stuck his tongue out playfully. "You're an idiot, Seifer!" Seifer merely grinned. "And you're a chicken, Zell!"

Zell's eyes widened and he glared. "Stop that! I do NOT resemble a chicken, okay?" Seifer smirked. "Course ya do, Chicken!" Zell glared at the older man! "I'm warning you, Seifer. Cut it out, NOW!" Seifer grinned. "Make me – CHICKENWUSS!" He chuckled as Zell's glare turned into a smirk. "Fine!"

Zell moved fast. He pushed Seifer down on the bed. Trapping him beneath him, his legs either side of Seifer's hips. Seifer was stuck fast. Zell then started to tickle Seifer mercilessly. Zell laughed and continued the onslaught as Seifer giggled and wriggled desperately trying to get away from him. "Please…stop, Zell! I'm sorry." Zell smirked. "I win!" He stood up and smiled down at the older boy then went back to packing up his stuff.

Seifer just lay on the bed for a while, catching his breath. He glared at Zell's back when he had recovered then bounced up quickly and grabbed him, pushing him down on the bed instead then he tickled the younger boy even worse than Zell had tickled him. He stopped only when Zell looked totally exhausted. "Hah! I think you'll find that I am the winner after all, Chicken!" He smirked down at him.

Seifer's grin slowly melted from his face but the two boys continued to watch each other. Something passed between them just as Edea came into the room. Seifer merely smiled down at Zell and poked his nose then moved away from the younger boy. "C'mon, Chicken. Don't wanna be late, do ya?" He helped Zell pack the rest of his stuff.

**---Kyzel's P.O.V.---**

Kyzel watched the movie progress - Years passed quickly onscreen – flitting past many scenes – Zell moving into Seifer's dorm, their first big argument in years, training, laughter, bereavement, joy, arguments, talking, joking, anger, and apologies – true friendship was basically what the gang were witnessing on screen. It's actually kinda sad what these mortals have lost. They are such good friends there yet in this reality, they don't even have the time of day for each other apart from the usual insults they fire when they see each other. Such a waste! He sighed and turned his attention back to the screen.

**---No P.O.V. – Movie---**

It was Seifer's seventeenth birthday; as per usual, he was in the dorm with Zell. They were lounging about although they were planning to go out somewhere later (Selphie had arranged a night out with the rest of them - Irvine, Quistis, Xu, Squall and Rinoa – because she was complaining that they didn't see enough of the two of them.) Right now though, it was just the two of them and that was what they both wanted.

They both lay on their beds on their sides so that they could see each other as they talked. Seifer of course, said something because he wanted to get a reaction from Zell - it wasn't so much what he said but the fact that he ended the sentence with 'chicken' that got to Zell. Before Seifer could react, Zell had moved from his bed where he was glaring at him to kneeling over him, trapping him. "Take that back, Almasy!" Seifer grinned up at the younger boy and stuck out his tongue. "Nope!"

Zell tickled Seifer senseless. He smiled down at the older boy as he struggled to regain his breath then suddenly the mood changed between them.

Seifer's eyes widened as Zell leaned down and placed a gentle, lingering kiss on his lips. Zell's eyes widened in turn as he realised what he'd done and he froze in shock. A blush was already spreading across his face. "S-sorry, Seif. Sh-shouldn't have d-done that!" He turned his face away and went to move to get up. Seifer's hand moved to Zell's cheek…

(Kyzel chooses that moment to stop the Movie)

**---Zell's P.O.V.---**

Oh MY HYNE! I just kissed Seifer! Zell stared at the screen in shock. I can't take it in. I'd been having a feeling of dread for a while now…I THOUGHT that…but I'm not gay! AM I? Seifer's gonna kill me! NOT GOOD! He risked a glance over at him. Of course he was staring straight at him with a strange look on his face. Probably trying to decide how he should kill me – what way would cause me the most pain! "Umm Seifer, please remember that this is an alternate reality or whatever that we're seeing now. It doesn't mean that it's the same here. We ARE different people here after all!

Seifer merely shrugged his gaze had already moved back to the frozen image on the screen. He sighed a little. "Don't worry about it!"

"DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT"? How could I NOT worry about it? He would probably run back and tell everyone in Garden that I was gay when we got back to our normal life!

Zell sulked and fretted…

Seifer stared at the screen for another moment. This isn't fair! How can it have been so simple? All it took was for him to move to closely to me that one time and we could have had it all? He sulked for another moment then turned his attention back to Zell who was obviously clearly distressed and it dawned on him that he probably thought that he was mad about the kiss. Hadn't picked up on what he had picked up on. He spoke softly to him. "Zell?"

Zell turned slowly to look at him. Obviously still sulking but surprised enough by the use of his name by the older man to turn around. Seifer sighed. "If it's any consolation to you, I think the other me is about to kiss the other you back!" He grinned at the younger man and pointed to the screen. Zell raised a brow and looked at Kyzel who let the Movie commence once more.

**---Movie---**

…Seifer stroked Zell's cheek then gently turned the younger boy's head around to him once more. He smiled then closed the distance between them and kissed Zell back…

(Movie pauses again)

**---The room---**

The girls were of course, all exclaiming about the cuteness of Seifer and Zell together. Most of the guys were looking a little confused. Zell was blushing furiously. Seifer was merely grinning. (A/N: Yes, an actual grin – not a smirk! Amazing, ne?) Kyzel turned to him, happy to realise that he was taking it so well. Well, maybe this one is going to end on a good note! It's about time! He grinned widely to himself.

Rinoa looked at Seifer, obviously a little bothered – not really that surprising though considering they'd gone out together. "Seifer…are you GAY?"

Seifer raised a brow at that and shook his head. He spoke calmly. Still grinning. "No. I'm bisexual. Same as I've always been!" He looked up at the surprised exclamations of everyone who wasn't Irvine - who had guessed long ago. "What? You're telling me that you all didn't know?" He shook his head in astonishment.

Zell frowned. "So what's with calling me gay all the time?" Seifer looked at him. "You're kidding me right? Zell! You're totally gay - or you're bi…whatever! The point is, you're not straight. You need to come out of the closet!" Zell glared at him. "Oh you mean, come out of the closet and have a relationship with you?" He sneered at the older man. "This is a different reality, Seifer. We don't even like each other in this one!"

Seifer sneered right back at him. It was becoming obvious that they had forgotten about everyone else in the room. "Two things, Zell: One…what makes you so sure I'd want a relationship with you in ANY reality? Two…I wasn't talking about us having a relationship. I was suggesting that you admit to yourself what you are THEN maybe, you can finally relax and deal with it and stop being so HYNEDAMNED JUMPY! Jeez! It's not like I professed undying love to you, Zell! Get over it already!" He glared at Zell then sunk back into his chair, turning away from him.

Kyzel sighed Or maybe not..! He felt bad for the two mortal men – the pain and fear was radiating off them freely but no one else said anything so he resumed the movie…

**---Movie---**

The kiss broke and Seifer smiled happily, just watching Zell's eyes. "Hyne, Zell…I waited so long to do that! I didn't know that you felt the same way!" Zell smiled down at him and traced a finger over the older boy's lips. Seifer smiled at him. "I...I love you, Zell. I always have."

**---Kyzel's P.O.V.---**

He blinked as he heard something hit the ground and paused the video. He looked up in time to see Seifer leaving the room, very red in the face. Oh dear. Not good!

**---Zell's P.O.V.---**

Seifer loves me! That's why he just stormed out of the room, isn't it? I mean, I just watched him onscreen admit that he always loved me. From the first moment he saw me. While our realities were changed, the start was the same. Okay, maybe he doesn't love me YET in this reality –after all, in the other, we're best friends - but, he definitely feels **something **for me! But, if he does, then what's with all the jibes over the years? Why are you still sitting here trying to make sense of it? Go ask him!

**---Understanding---**

He got up and walked out of the room. No one tried to stop him or even say anything to him.

He found Seifer standing in the hall with his head hanging out a window slightly breathing deeply. He didn't turn around when he heard footsteps behind him. He merely sighed. "Come to gloat chicken, hmm?" He didn't have to think too hard to know who it was. He sensed who it was behind him.

Zell blinked. "I…no! You think I'd do that? Seifer snorted.

"Why not? It's not like I've been overly nice to you over the years, is it? He sighed deeply.

Zell blinked again. "You DO like me, in this reality, don't you?" Seifer laughed bitterly. "That's a stupid question, Zell! Of course I do!" Zell frowned.

"Could you please look at me when I'm talking to you, Seifer?" Seifer sighed but turned around and looked at Zell.

Zell gasped. The older man's eyes were full of…sadness. He really DID mean every word. "Why did you never say anything before? Why were you always so mean to me?"

Seifer smiled sadly then just blurted it all out. "Zell, you saw the movie, right? You were watching it? It's just the way that we've always been with each other…I just, didn't realise that you didn't remember me until it was too late - the damage was already done. You hated me by that stage and that hurt. No way was I going to chance saying something to have you laugh back in my face, I'd waited so long to finally see you again. To realise that you didn't even remember me any more…well, that was hell!

"I could see the look in your eyes when you saw me. Fear! That's all there was, no hint of the friendship we used to have, nothing. All was completely gone. Even in the orphanage, when we were arguing, I never ONCE saw fear in your eyes. You didn't trust me any more and that hurt like hell." He stopped talking then. Nothing else that he could say was there?

Zell looked at him and sighed. "I'm sorry, Seifer. I still think you should have just told me though. I'm hurt to think that you actually believed that I would laugh at you or worse. That's not who I am. I might not have remembered you but I don't laugh at people for loving someone…look, let's just go in and watch the rest of the movie, hmm? Come on. We may as well."

Seifer smiled sadly down at him. "You don't like me at all in the reality, do you, Zell?"

Zell blushed and resigned himself to his fate. "No. I don't..." Seifer paled at the rebuffal, his heart shattering. I don't like you Seifer, I LOVE you. Despite the fact that you've spent most of your life being an asshole to me, I love you because, every once in a while, you've shown a sweeter side to yourself and who could resist you really?" He grinned crookedly at the older man.

Seifer watched him for any sign that he was making fun of him but failed to see any. He swallowed hard then took a deep breath. "You do?" Zell nodded. "Of course I do, Almasy. I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it!"

Seifer felt like he was in a dream as he walked over to Zell, he leaned down hesitantly to place a kiss on Zell's lips. Zell however, was impatient. He wrapped his arms around his neck to pull him closer. He smiled and kissed him deeply. He broke the kiss reluctantly and looked at him. Seifer pulled him close again, laying his head down on his shoulder. "Hyne, I love you so much." Zell closed his eyes, relaxing against the older man. "I'm sorry I was rude earlier." Seifer smiled against his neck where he'd been placing kisses. "Don't worry about it, Zell. It's just our 'thing'. It's not like I didn't give as good as I got…It helps though – knowing that you love me takes the edge off. Makes it more…fun!" His eyes sparkled as he leaned in to kiss him again.

It was Zell who broke the kiss that time. He smiled. "We should get back…!" He pulled him behind him as they headed to the room. Seifer started to worry the closer they got to the room. Will he want the rest of them to know? If he wants to hide it, will I let him? Of course you will Almasy. You're gonna be his willing slave if he promises to kiss you again, never mind anything else. ..

Zell of course, didn't let go of his hand. He would be more than happy to shout his love from the rooftops if someone told him to. He definitely seemed to glow as he walked back hand-in-hand with Seifer. No one commented, obviously they'd expected it. Zell snuggled against Seifer as they waited for Kyzel to come from whatever he'd decided he had to do.

Kyzel of course came back shortly, smiling as he took in the fact that the two were holding hands. Oh happy days! Praise Hyne! Finally! He raised a brow at Zell. "You want to keep watching?"

Zell shook his head. "No thank you. I think I get the point. Thank you very much Kyzel. Seifer smiled happily at the Angel. "Yeah, thanks." Kyzel bowed his head at them. "You're welcome." He smiled. "Okay, break for lunch people. See you back here in an hour.

Everyone left the room. It was obviously a happier atmosphere than before. Kyzel laughed with delight.


	7. Squall's 'What if'

Disclaimer: I own Final Fantasy 8. Squaresoft is actually my company…Unfortunately for me though; this is only in my dreams/another universe. . In this reality, I don't make any profit for this story nor do either LadyTwist or Raven–Leigh who have kindly helped me with previous chapters.

A/N: Sorry for the delay in writing this chapter but, I have been pleasantly distracted by a few RPs that I'm taking part in over at Unforsaken Dreams. Feel free to come and take a look. There's some very cool stuff on the site. (The address is on profile page)

A/N2: The idea of Seifer's coming back to Garden is based on an RP from Unforsaken Dreams...more info can be gotten there if you're interested... :-)

**----------Squall's P.O.V.----------**

Squall frowned and looked around the room. Everyone else seemed to have chosen things that they thought would be better but, he only had one thing and Laguna had already chosen to see that so he knew how it ended. He pondered it for a while as he sat there then finally decided to get Kyzel's attention.

When he had it, he spoke up. "Kyzel, would it be alright if I go next? I'd like to see something – not because I think it could have been better but, rather because I think it would have been worse. I've regularly counted it as a blessing that I let Quistis, Selphie and Irvine convince me…"

Kyzel smiled kindly. "Squall, you can see anything you choose. It's entirely up to you – that IS the point of this exercise after all."

Squall nodded and took Rinoa's hand lifting it to his mouth to place a kiss on it. "Okay, what I'd like to see is what would have happened if Quistis and the rest hadn't convinced me to save Rinoa from the Sorceress Memorial." He frowned as he heard gasps from assorted people around the room. "I've already SAID…I don't expect this to be better. I'm just curious. There's honestly nothing that I think could be better. My life's pretty close to perfect right now. I've got Rinoa and I've got friends. Not to mention my Dad and Sister. Okay, I could probably do without being Commander but, that's another matter."

He turned his attention to Rinoa. "Rinoa, I love you. I could never choose a world in which you and I aren't together. Never." Rinoa smiled and kissed him softly. "It's okay Squall. I understand. Besides, I have to admit that I too am a little curious. She snuggled closer to him. "I love you Squall." He smiled back. "Always."

Kyzel smiled. _Ah young love. So sweet! _He gave them a moment before speaking. "Okay. Well let's start then…"

The film started once more and Squall watched the screen as he saw Rinoa and himself in space. He was unable to stop a blush however at the scene, knowing that his friends were witnessing him with her. It was at that moment that he realised he was totally in love with her. Rather than make himself better, it made him more scared. After all, when people love you, they leave. Right? He shrugged it off and just continued to watch as the scene continued to the moment where Quistis showed up telling him off for leaving Rinoa – Except this time, neither Quistis nor Irvine nor even Selphie showed up – Not until it was too late anyway. When they did, they didn't even comment on the fact that Rinoa was gone. They just got on with the job at hand.

Suddenly, they were watching Seifer instead. He was heading to the Memorial with some of the Sorceress's chosen faithful. Squall looked over at Seifer noting that he'd gotten paler. He just managed to make out him muttering. "I do NOT want to see this. It cannot end well!" Squall sighed and continued to watch though.

**----------Film----------**

Seifer was VERY intent on what he was doing with his little group of helpers. He'd get Rinoa out if it killed him! He'd left Hyperion behind for this of course – stealth was required and it wasn't suitable. He drew out a knife as he sneaked up on a guard and slit his throat. The other guard turned around too late to do anything, was stabbed through the heart, dead before her hit the ground.

Seifer carried on regardless. With the help of the men, everyone who'd been there guarding Rinoa was dead in less than ten minutes. Ward and Kiros were the last to fall. Kiros's last words were. "It was meant to be Squall…" Seifer rolled his eyes and pulled the bangle off Rinoa and Ultimecia possessed her immediately.

**----------No P.O.V. – Room----------**

Squall felt ill. He was a SeeD and he'd seen a lot in his time but he'd never seen anything so brutal before. Seifer's deadly calm was chilling. Was that what it was really like to be possessed by someone like Ultimecia? To have your free will taken away? Was it any wonder that Seifer was the way he was now?

Zell looked at Seifer. "Seif, remember. It wasn't you. It was Ultimecia…" Seifer nodded weakly, managed to croak out a reply. "I-I need some air." He got up and left. Zell followed him of course.

Squall sighed and looked at Kyzel. "Normally, I would say that we should wait but, I don't think Seifer needs to see any more and personally, I think that Zell is the best person to be with him…can we let this continue while they're gone?" Kyzel sighed and shook his head. "I know it's painful for him but, he should see this too. Just take a break for now, okay? Actually it's probably a good idea to call it a day. We'll continue tomorrow at ten. There'll be food waiting for you in half an hour." His tone brooked no argument and he was gone before anyone could raise any objections anyway. They filed obediently out of the room, all despondent after what they'd witnessed.

They all took their turn to try and cheer up Seifer but it was Squall who got through to him. "Seifer come on and get some food, okay? Don't let it get to you. It wasn't you and it didn't happen. I know that you did some bad thing when you were under her control but, it's part of the past and we all know that you didn't want to do it." He sighed. "Come on, the point of this is that I knew it was going to be worse. I'd never choose that reality. Please let it go." Seifer looked at him for a moment then nodded. "Let's just go eat." Zell stayed right beside Seifer, worrying over him and generally being as sweet as possible to him.

Lunch was a little tense for the first ten minutes but after that, Selphie and Zell seemed to make it their mission to lighten everyone up. By the time they'd finished, everyone was more or less back to normal and ready for sleep. Everyone headed to their rooms, with the exception of Zell. He didn't want to leave Seifer alone so he went to his room with him. They talked for a while then Zell surprised Seifer a little by peeling off his gloves and his shoes and climbing into the bed beside him. "Don't want you to be alone Seifer." He nuzzled closer, wrapping his arms around him." Seifer smiled gratefully at him and kissed his cheek. "Thank you." He was asleep in minutes, Zell followed him shortly.

**----------The next morning----------**

The next morning, the group all seemed more optimistic as they met for breakfast, talking easily and happily. Kyzel joined them half an hour later. "Everybody ready?" No one put up an objection – not even Seifer – so he merely nodded and gestured to the door. "Well then, please follow me." He moved out of the room, heading once more into the darkened room to start the video once more.

When they were all seated, the video started and once more they were pulled into the strange events. They watched onscreen as things happened much as they had in this reality – except of course for the absence of Rinoa. Apparently though, Ultimecia tired of her and disposed of her the same way that she disposed of Seifer. Of course, that only made Squall angrier, gave him an edge. How dare this evil woman take away the woman he loved and then just discard her like rubbish! Of course, the group onscreen still won. He looked around at his friends, his lover then Kyzel. No one had anything to say about the horrible turn of events though – their saddened expressions said it all.

**----------Film – some years later----------**

Squall sat in his office, loaded down with paperwork. He looked much as he did during the time of the war with Ultimecia. There were just two differences…he looked colder than ever, and he was wearing a wedding band. Of course, it wasn't Rinoa that he was married to. Oh no, that couldn't have been possible because as soon as the war was finished, Rinoa was taken away by her father. Given all that Ultimecia had made her do, she was too broken to put up a struggle so she went with him, scared that she might do something worse now that she'd tasted power. The last time that Squall had seen her, he'd supervised her being placed in Adel's tomb. It had broken his heart completely.

He looked up a moment later, snapping out of his depressing thoughts when he saw his wife standing in front of him. "Quistis. What's up?" She sighed. "Squall, you've been here for over a week. Don't you think you should come back and get some rest?" Squall just stared at her coldly. "I have work to do!" She bit her lip. "I know. I know that it's important but, so's your health. You're no use to Garden if you have a nervous breakdown or you give yourself a heart attack!"

Squall just rolled his eyes. "Quistis, I'm only twenty five. I'm not going to have a heart attack." Yes, it was quite clear that theirs was not a bond of love but, rather one of convenience. Oh, Quistis had tried for a while, hating to see him so broken, cold and distant but she'd given that up as a bad idea, knowing in her heart that the only way he would show any interest in her was if she suddenly turned into Rinoa. She sighed and tried once more. "Laguna rang. He wants to come and see you." Squall snorted. "I'm busy, Quistis. Tell him I'll ring him when I get some time." Quistis sighed. _You ALWAYS say that. _"Fine." She set some food in front of him. "Eat that. I'll see you later."

After she left, Squall stared disinterestedly at the food. He eventually managed to eat a few mouthfuls but then pushed it aside. It all just tasted like cardboard in his mouth these days. .. He sighed and got back to work.

Time passed quickly. The more time that Squall spent in his office, the more time Quistis seemed to spend with Laguna. Of course at first, it was purely because Laguna hoped that if he showed up, his son would make the time for him but, as time went on and he never did, Laguna found himself making the trip to spend time with Quistis – not that he would or could admit it! But it was becoming more and more obvious to the people around them that Quistis and Laguna are in love. So much so that even Squall noticed the change in his wife. How one minute she seemed to be walking on air, the next minute she seemed almost…suicidal. It was the guilt of course, she felt guilty for her feelings for Squall's father but, she couldn't will them away.

Squall realised that they were in love on a rare day when he actually joined them. Not by the looks that they were giving each other or by how much they touched each other but, rather because they avoided one another's gaze and touch as much as possible. Part of him wanted to be generous and let her go, to free her from her obligation to him and let him be happy but he was too scared – scared of being alone because he knew in his heart of hearts that when Rinoa left, she took his heart with him and he didn't have any way to love anyone else. If he let her go, he would be by himself. He couldn't do it. It was too frightening.

About a month later, Seifer showed up. He wanted to come back to Garden. Squall frowned. Thought about it for all of half a minute. "You can come back Seifer but there's a condition: You'll be under Zell's care. You have to do whatever he says. Is that understood?" Seifer nodded. "Yeah. I'll do whatever it takes." Squall sighed and proved that he wasn't as unobservant as a lot of people said. "Seifer, maybe if you stop being so defensive, he'll love you back. Why not give it a try, hmm?" Seifer stared up at him for a moment totally speechless. "S-sure. Maybe I'll try that." Squall sent him to get a uniform and other essential items while he talked to Zell. Within ten minutes, Zell had grudgingly accepted. Within a month, Zell and Seifer were a couple – at least someone got to be happy!

**----------Squall's P.O.V.----------**

_Well, this is even more depressing that I expected it to be! The only good thing so far is that Seifer and Zell are together. How horrible to think that I would keep two people in love apart simply so I wouldn't be alone. Could I really have been that evil? Meh, no telling. I know that Rinoa makes me a better person. Don't ever want to be without her. _He lifted her hand up to his lips. "I love you so much Rinoa."

**----------Rinoa's P.O.V.----------**

Wow, I do make a difference to his life. And what a difference! Poor Squall. Poor Quistis and Laguna too.

----------Seifer's P.O.V.----------

Thank God for Leonhart – not that I'm saying that any of the rest of it was anywhere near good or even acceptable but, at least he got Zell and I together. That's the only good thing out of all the misery.

**----------Zell and Selphie's P.O.V.----------**

Ooh Seifer and Zell kissing. (A/N: XDXD)

**----------No P.O.V. - General----------**

Kyzel looked at Squall. "So, was this what you expected?" Squall shrugged. "It's miserable. Totally bleak for everyone apart for Zell and Seifer…yeah, I kinda expected it. Kyzel nodded. "Well, it's nearly over now of course…" He turned his gaze back to the screen.

Time was passing quickly before their eyes. Kyzel must have speeded the film up. Not that it mattered. The events were still clear. Squall worked harder and harder, ate and talked less and pined for Rinoa, Laguna and Quistis pined for each other and felt guilty so they too were eating and talking as little as Squall. Only in each other's company could they relax. And then only for a short while before the guilt set in. It was heartbreaking to watch. Squall cast a glance at his father and Quistis, noting them clinging to each other, grateful that in this world there were no such obstacles and it made him smile as he nuzzled against Rinoa.

**----------Film----------**

Squall was pissed off. He'd had a bad day and he badly wanted to hurt someone or at the very least something. That was the worst thing about being Commander – he never got the chance to leave Garden to kill things. And that was such a shame really because anger was the only emotion that he had left and oh he could use it well.

He tried burying himself in paperwork once more but, it didn't help. He sighed and decided that he'd go out. They were on the island closest to hell. There was bound to be something suitable to help him alleviate his anger, right?

He headed out without telling anyone where he was going. By the time Quistis and Zell found him, it was too late. He'd been killed by three blue dragons. They'd caught him unawares. They managed to scare the monsters off but it was too late for the Commander. He was dead.

Zell carried his broken body back to Garden as Quistis used Diablos's protective bubble caused by the Encounter None ability to get them back safely. Garden mourned the loss of a Commander. Few mourned the loss of a friend though. Squall had let so few people in that only the Orphanage Gang and Laguna mourned him as more than a Commander.

Laguna sighed and looked at Ellone. He admitted to her after his third glass of whiskey that he would mourn Squall mostly for the POTENTIAL he had to be his son. Of course, that only makes him feel guilty but, he never really had the chance to get to know him. Squall never let him in. .. TT "I'm an atrocious father, aren't I?" Ellone sighed. "Laguna no. You did your best. We all know that. You left in the first place to do what you had to do. You didn't know about Squall…by the time you did, he was already shut off. It's heartbreaking though. I remember him when I was in the orphanage with him and, he was so sweet…but no. You're not a bad father." Laguna just sighed and took another drink of his whiskey.

While he was quiet though, his thoughts weren't. He thought of Quistis, wished desperately that things were different – there was no way that he could ever be with her now. It would be in bad taste to profess your love to your son's widow, right? And that was just one more reason why he was a bad father…how could he even be THINKING about this when his son was only just into his grave?

**----------Years pass----------**

Laguna is lying on his bed, his eyes closed, every breath is obviously an effort. He frowns as he hears someone come into the room. "Ellone…tell Quistis…I loved her…" With those last words, Laguna's life on earth ended.

**----------Less than a month later----------**

Quistis felt old and broken and so, so tired of life. She tidied up her desk for the last time. Then pulled out a gun and checked. Only one bullet but, that was more than enough for her task…she stood up and walked out, closing the door behind her…

**----------End Movie----------**

Kyzel switched the film off. "Well, I don't know about you all but, I don't think I want to watch any more of that." Quistis smiled gratefully at him if not a little weakly. "Thanks. Definitely don't."

Rinoa blinked. "So you're telling me that, if Squall hadn't come for me, Seifer would have gone on a rampage – no offence Seifer – I would have been used and discarded by Ultimecia before being sealed away…Squall would marry Quistis and in doing so have ruined not just his life but Quistis's and Laguna's too?" She sighed and looked at Squall. "Sorry, that came out wrong." Squall just shrugged. "Nah, that's basically what we saw happening. Don't worry about it love."

Seifer spoke up then. "Well, I think I speak for everyone here when I say thanks for not choosing that reality, Squall." He clung tightly to Zell's hand but relaxed at last now that the movie was over.

Squall smiled. "No problem. Definitely wouldn't want that life, thanks. I'm more than happy with this one." Rinoa smiled and leaned up to kiss him. "Me too."

Kyzel smiled happily. "Well, I think after that, you should all take a break. It was pretty intense. Go eat. I'll see you here lunch."

They all nodded and filed out, talking amongst themselves.

**----------End----------**


End file.
